(2) Don't make lists. Sooner or later the sheer order of the thing will get to you.
(3) Don't make plans. Ironically this is the cardinal virtue of modern Discordian philosophy.
(4) Don't go home for a quickie with someone who has a state for a first name, a fill-in-the-blank tattoo, a "My other car was a government auction" bumpersticker, or who keeps "50 Shades" on the nightstand.
(5) Try not to be an asshole. You might not succeed and that's fine. Just try.
(6) Nobody else really cares how many pees you need to take in one day. Keep the fluids up.
(7) Don't bother writing to dead authors/actors/presidents or any other figures about how you could do a better job then they did. It's not likely you'll get a response, and if you do, you might want to consult your shrink.
