Sunday, October 23, 2016

Em's Official Samhain 2016 Guide












Our modern Halloween is derived from the "ancient" Samhain, the Celtic new year.

The past few years I've posted what is a standard Samhain Blessing for me and mine--it might seem a tad early, but again there is no wrong time to look at our blessings. This year I'm adding Through The Veil, which is a brief telling of passing through the veil between worlds that is said to be at its thinnest at Samhain.



A SAMHAIN BLESSING

May the ancestors deliver blessings on you and yours...

May the new year bear great fruits for you...

May your granted wishes be as many as the seeds in a pomegranate...

May the slide into darkness bring you light...

May the memories of what has been keep you strong for what is to be...

May this Samhain cleanse your heart, your soul, and your mind!


BLACK BIRD

No matter how I've tried to shake him off, he still comes after me with the ferocity of a hunting carnivore--not the cunning of a carrion feeder. I close my eyes and I see the black bird, the same black bird who has been with me for all of this life and perhaps in other lives as well. For some reason I wanted to shake the bird but he's only come back thirteen times as powerful.

I realize now that I cannot run from my heritage--from the blood of my ancestors which now flows through me--and that the black bird, the Great Raven, will always seek me out no matter where I am.

My question to myself now is do I want to embrace him as forcefully as I have done before, do I want to have done with him and pursue my new existence, or can I possibly keep the Great Raven in my heart and continue to move forward?

I will ponder with care.

THROUGH THE VEIL

The Veil floats before me, just as it has always done and as I expect it will continue to do. It’s no mystery yet it remains always an enigma, a puzzle to be explored and understood. What can I do but drift towards the Veil, moving without will and pulled without resistance.

There it is, the Veil, and I feel the icy tendrils of Death pierce my flesh and seize my soul. But there is not a touch of fear or of doubt, for I have come into this embrace before. I have experienced death as a revolving door, an unending portal to rebirth and renewal. Living weight drops from me, hesitant as if threatening to escape me completely and leave me beyond the Veil. The pain resounds in me so hot and fierce that it is not what I could normally call pain at all.

And then in an instant, when all seems to have fallen away to leave me for dead, the living energy comes rushing in like a frozen mountain’s stream taking new heart in a Spring thaw. I am reborn and renamed, enabled by a new knowledge and a new strength.

Such I am as I pass back through the Veil into the world like an infant sage, ready to embrace the universe again.

Remember those who have gone before you but who will never be forgotten.  May you all shine on and be well!

And The Universe Went HA!

Sometimes in the evenings, when the neighborhood kids have been slipped their sedatives and gone indoors and the fuzz popping irritation of traffic seems like the crest of a distant nightmare, I go outside to listen to the Universe. Some people might call this God, but I figure by definition Universe pretty much encompasses all the possibilities.Anyway, I listen, and it speaks. Not a voices in my head kind of speaking, but more of a gentle but all-pervasive reminder that my life as a being infused and gifted with a relationship to the Universe is actually what's most important to me.

Occasionally I can hear the Universe laughing at me. This happens when I have blithely ignored sign after sign of trouble ahead, only to learn a lesson the hard and sometimes painful way. You see, the Universe warns me when I'm about to do something especially stupid. The problem is getting my primate brain to recognize the warnings for what they are.

I get especially disquieted when I see that the Universe has saved me from what may have been a disaster, a situation where the signs have been abundantly clear. For instance, I'm writing this from the security of a metaphorical palm that swooped down and carried me out of what could possibly been a mistake at best and a life-bending horror at the worst. This time at least, I'm seeing the signs, and I'm interpreting them in a way I feel is metaphysically correct.

At least in my experience, the Universe doesn't discriminate. Whatever your belief system or non-belief system, the Universe is the Universe, and it will warn you and guide you if you keep open to the signs. And when the Universe suggests something might not be the best of ideas, think about it. Maybe it's not what you want, but it might be what you need.

The Story That Will Not Go Away



This is the story that will not go away.

Now that I’m living in Philadelphia, now that I’ve made myself a fixture of my community, people still are curious about the odyssey that took me to Florida for eight years. Specifically, I get asked time and again about the infamous 2000 presidential election and the part I played in it. I suppose it’s one thing to have read the news and quite another to have lived through the news—to have made the news.

Well, all right then. For everybody who’s wanted to know my version for whatever reason, here it goes. If you don't particularly care for my politics, you might at least appreciate the importance of your vote--and that transcends parties and philosophies.

In 2000 I was living in Saint Cloud, Florida—a little place I affectionately called Cowgirl Helltown (no joke—my neighbors were cows). Saint Cloud is in Osceola County, just south of Orlando, and wasn’t one of the counties of contention in the election. Heck, I think Al Gore swept the county by more than 75%, I’m not sure.

Also at the time I was married to someone about as politically passionate as I was. We’d done a great deal of research on the Green Party, and when we moved from Orlando to Saint Cloud we’d also changed our voter registration from Independent to Green. Now I should point out that we did not own a television. We were hooked up to the Internet to our eyeballs, but otherwise we got our news from the radio and from print media. I should also point out that the Clinton years had been very kind to us.

Now somewhere in the summer of 2000 the idea of “Greens for Gore” took shape and started to gain momentum, especially in the greater Orlando area. Unfortunately the idea was not so much support for Al Gore as it was a desperate attempt to keep #43 out of the White House—he who talked about these great 52 United States and the use of subliminable messages. I mean it was unrestrained panic that the Fortunate Son might carry the election.

Let me mention that I have met Al Gore. It was in June of 1993, when he was Vice President, and I was working at Independence National Historical Park. He did a photo op with the park rangers, and since we all were working for Club Fed, we were presumed safe. I remember two things. He was nowhere nearly as wooden as one might think. I also actually got him to laugh at some joke I don’t remember.

Fast forward to Election Day 2000. We were nervous wrecks. We knew damn well what was on the line. We also knew that Gore wasn’t going into the election with an overwhelming majority. A second Bush presidency was a very real threat, no matter how many months we’d spent trying to wake people up. My husband and I got to our polling place early, gritting our teeth as we stood in line under a cloud of doom. Most of Osceola County had the same idea and the place was packed.

This is where the great joke that was the Florida election system comes into play.

When we’d lived in Tallahassee, the voting booth was automated. Winter Park had actually used computers. Not so Osceola. We were handed actual paper ballots along with a push pin, of all things. All we had to do is make a hole next to the name of the candidate we were selecting. This was my first fit of the day, but this slipshod method wasn’t the fault of the people working the polls, so I tried to let it slide.

Traditionally in an election with write-in spaces, the election committee provides some kind of writing implement (in this case the voting booth was very much like an elementary school desk with afterthought blinders to protect our privacy). I had been planning on quite a few write-ins, so you can imagine how livid I was that nothing had been provided. All right, now I made a big fuss, not just for me but for everybody else. Were we having our freedom to write in candidates taken from us?

The so-called election officials—cronies of somebody or other—didn’t give a damn, but the body of voters in the room and outside heard me and applauded my outburst. Well, applause is nice, but all I really wanted was a damn pencil!

Much later on, after a nerve-wracking day, we heard that #43 was the projected winner. We headed out to hang with the cows and try to come to grips with this disaster in our minds. But when we got home, suddenly the election was in contention, and it was our state that had done it. Having lived through the half-assed attempt at polling that we had that morning, it was no surprise.

We all know what happened then, so I won’t belabor the painful. But here are some quips from the time I found both amusing and disturbing.

"THOSE WHO CAST THE VOTES DECIDE NOTHING. THOSE WHO COUNT
THE VOTES DECIDE EVERYTHING." -- JOSEPH STALIN

DON'T BLAME ME - I VOTED FOR GORE... I THINK

MY PARENTS RETIRED TO FLORIDA AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY PRESIDENT

DISNEY GAVE US MICKEY, FLORIDA GAVE US DUMBO

DON'T THROW AWAY YOUR VOTE... LET KATHERINE HARRIS DO IT FOR YOU

BUSH TRUSTS THE PEOPLE, BUT NOT IF IT INVOLVES COUNTING

TO YOU I'M A DRUNK DRIVER; TO MY FRIENDS, I'M PRESIDENTIAL MATERIAL!

ONE PERSON, ONE VOTE (MAY NOT APPLY IN CERTAIN STATES)

I DIDN'T VOTE FOR HIS DADDY EITHER

IT AIN'T OVER 'TIL YOUR BROTHER COUNTS THE VOTES

BANANA REPUBLICANS

GEORGE W. BUSH: THE PRESIDENT QUAYLE WE NEVER HAD

THE LAST TIME SOMEBODY LISTENED TO A BUSH, FOLKS WANDERED IN THE DESERT FOR 40 YEARS

CAMPAIGN SPENDING: $184,000,000. HAVING YOUR LITTLE BROTHER RIG THE ELECTION FOR YOU: PRICELESS

I ask you...this year, for this election, please take your civic duty seriously. Read up on the candidates and get your questions answered to your satisfaction. Don't leave your voice be unheard and your vote left in the hands of others.

What Is Brujeria?

Like so much else in the brujo world, I have had not one "name" but several. At one time you would have found me going by Mayahuel, after an Aztec (Méxica) goddess whom I will introduce you to shortly.

In mixed company I'm sometimes just referred to as La Bruja. My friends in Mexico have called me Coyote, the slang term for, oh, someone who gets people and things back and forth across the border after dark, so to speak. This has expanded into Cihuacoyotl, or Coyote Woman in Nahuatl.

But today, in my home temple, mostly I am called Juana Bruja, which is both joking and serious. The "Juana" part is the Spanish version of one of my given birth names. The two together are intended to give an impression such as that as "Jane Doe".

One gem, many facets. That is Brujeria, at least as I know it.

To learn first-hand for yourself about Brujeria, you may want to see if there are any shops called "botanicas" in your area. The next step is to actually go there and start talking with the people running the shop. I'm part owner of a small neighborhood botanica, and the botanica is a great starting point, one that I know actually exists in many areas.

There are few books available on Brujeria. I don't mean bad Spanish translations that immediately convert "Wicca" or "Witchcraft" into "Brujeria"; I know those exist and may be dismally misleading. In the beginning I learned one of the guiding principles of Brujeria was its secrecy, was the fact that it is passed from brujo to brujo. Well, this would explain the lack of material on the subject, but I kept looking anyway.

If you manage to come across a book in Spanish and you have a fairly decent comprehension of written Spanish, the number of books on Brujeria expands. You may also find some good and helpful information too. All right, enough talk about books!

Let's dispense with the silliness right from the start, shall we? No, I'm not obsessed with Carlos Casteneda's works, nor am I something out of Vampire The Masquerade (besides, the Brujah Clan--note that's Brujah and not bruja--doesn't seem to have much to do with Mesoamerican mysticism).

I'm not a fortune teller, either, even if I'm well-known for reading tea leaves. It seems to me that self-proclaimed psychics are a nickel a dozen, and besides, anybody who wants to know their future is, in my opinion, a great fool.

Brujeria is a broad path embracing virtually hundreds of traditions of the Americas--there is no right or wrong way, but many ways.

Brujeria is NOT Wicca and a brujo/bruja is not a Wiccan. We are not Druids or Thelemites or Streghe or the Golden Dawn or (insert your favorite group here). We are what we are, even if what we are is complex.

So what is a brujo/bruja? With the help of Felipe, who is the spots on my jaguar from Sonora,Mexico (but now living rather close by), I think I've finally hit upon an explanation most people can understand.

That explanation begins, of all places, in Siberiawith the Russian/Tungus word saman. The saman was an individual using magic to cure the sick, divine the hidden, and control events. This practice, usually referred to in American English as Shamanism, is worldwide.

Taking a step back from Brujeria to examine the two practices brought me to conclude that they are essentially the same thing, with a few differences according to culture. If that's the case, when I say I am a bruja, I am also saying I am a shaman. But remember that Shamanism is as varied as the world itself, so if you don't agree with my conclusions, please investigate the shaman on your own and see what you discover.

How I got here is not as important as the fact that I am here. There are no levels or hierarchy in Brujeria as I have learned it. A person is either a born brujo or not. Brujeria is a vocation in the true sense of the word--a calling, a summons. Don't get me wrong--I don't mean to make it sound exclusive, because it isn't. But without the calling, there is no Brujeria, and therefore no brujo. That's how it is.

Many people ask me what Brujeria is, what is a brujo/bruja. This is a difficult question to answer. Technically, the word "brujeria" is Spanish for witchcraft, sorcery, and magical doings. A lot of this carries over into the practice of Brujeria, but Brujeria is more. In brief, I see Brujeria as an ongoing dance with the vital spirit of theAmericas and my role as a bruja as a conduit for the living energy of the universe.

Arguably, today's Brujeria is the continuing magical spiritual path of Mesoamerica (Mexico) which dates back 12,000 years. Brujeria is not a revival of ancient traditions, for those traditions never died out in the first place.

That is to say, to be a bruja is to answer the calling of the Great Mother of the New World.

As you have probably guessed, Spanish is the lingua franca of Brujeria. Many brujos speak nothing else; many brujos speak no Spanish but "brujo/a" and "Brujeria". In my case, I'm using various Mexican dialects (and if you know anything about Mexican Spanish, you know how many variations there are) while learning Nahuatl, the language of the Nahua who are the modern descendants of the Aztecs.

In all truth, it doesn't matter what language you use--the energy is the same. However, Brujeria is also a community, and that community tends to speak Spanish of one streak or another. But I have noticed that more and more English speakers are joining the dance either through friends or the influence of lovers.

My own band of brujos, the Temple of the Jaguar, has come up with a list of guidelines which we simply call the Code (El Código Brujo). Here I offer a translation from the original Spanish into English. You will need to draw your own conclusions, because if it isn't said it's probably not intended to be public knowledge.

1) The universe is a living thing (which is an idea brought into modern Brujeria from Aztec cosmology), and Brujeria is a method of interacting with the living energy of the universe.

2) A brujo/bruja practices what could be termed magic by attuning himself/herself to this living energy.

This living energy can seize a brujo/bruja at any time, or through the concentrated work of an impromptu and inspired ritual.

3) An individual enters Brujeria through a personal encounter with the living energy.

4) Once a brujo, always a brujo. It is something that cannot be shaken off, something like genetic makeup.

5) Brujos/brujas are born and cannot be made, even if they do not come to realize their place in Brujeria until much later in life.

(From this point, I will be using the masculine brujo/brujos when referring to practioners of Brujeria of either sex.)

6) A brujo has no ethical laws or limits to restrict his magic. However, he must also assume complete responsibility for his actions and be willing to submit to the consequences.

7) "A dead brujo is more powerful and more dangerous than a living brujo." What exactly this means is up for interpretation.

8) As Mexican Presidente Beinito Juarez said, "Respect for the rights of others is peace."

9) Brujos are free to use their abilities for non-brujos. Example situations are healing, spiritual counselling, and the creation of hechizos ("spellwork").

10) Brujeria is a community bound together by the living energy of the universe, and all brujos are brothers and sisters. A brujo is pledged to assist a fellow brujo wherever and whenever needed.

11) Some of what makes Brujeria can be revealed to non-brujos but most of Brujeria must remain between brujos alone.

12) Brujeria is learned from brujo to brujo, and through interaction with the living energy.

13) Techincally speaking, Brujeria is a Pagan path, although the brujos seem to have little to do with what has become the better-known "Pagan Community" (or said community doesn't wish to embrace the brujos).

Based upon my own experiences, I contend that this split exists because of Brujeria's apparent lax ethical values (which is just a misunderstanding of taking responsibility for one's own actions), Brujeria's acceptance of the whole magical spectrum as opposed to being good/"White Light"/positive only, or most likely both. In other words, nobody's bothered to look into us much, hence we seem to be as frightening to the "Pagan Community" as they (appear to) seem to want to placate more mainstream religious groups. And once again I ask how these people can scream and rant to be tolerated by the non-Pagan world and yet be intolerant of a kindred Pagan path such as Brujeria. Be tolerated but not be tolerant in return? There's certainly a real lack of harmony there.

This is what I can tell you. No, I won't be cursed for revealing secrets or anything like that. Brujeria remains an oral path, communicated from brujo to brujo through speech, touch, taste, sensation, and experience. Our "spellwork" (if you insist on calling it such) is spontaneous and intuitive. Brujeria really is a living path, one that cannot be captured by the written word.

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Symbols of Quaker Mysticism

Papyrus - Progress and enlightenment
Leaves - Unity
Water Lily - Spiritual evolution
Pears and Leaves - Comfort
Ivy - Friendship
Tree of Life - Long life, health, happiness
Banana Plant - Renewal of life
Ferns - Warmth and cordiality
Fuchsia - Compassion
Lotus - Unfolding of knowledge
Palm - Victory and eternal peace
Japanese Primrose - Wisdom

Random Crap

Here's some random stuff of the moment.

If you could come back as a dress, which one would it be?

Something either deathy and gothic or poppy red.

What is your favorite color?

Purple, violet, amethyst…you get the picture.

What is your favorite junk food?
Kettle chips.

What are you most vain about?

Nothing. I’m not vain even where I should be.

What are you most shy about?

Everything. How’s everything for an answer?

If you could have somebody else’s body, whose would it be?

Do you mean I would exist in said body or that the body would be mine to play with as I please?

If you could have somebody else’s breasts, whose would they be?

Uck.

Who are your fantasy dinner party guests?

There are so many. But assuming I am the hostess of a dinner party for twelve, I would select Coco Chanel, Charlemagne, Eleanor Roosevelt, Richard Feynman (physicist), Mary Robinson (former president of Ireland), Kurt Vonnegut, Sally Ride, John Young (also an accomplished astronaut), Zsuszanna Budapest (womens’ rights activist), His Holliness the Dalai Lama, Gloria Steinem, and Carl Sagan.

Where is your favorite place to have a drink?

Drink?  What am I--normal?

Whose wallet would you like to steal?

I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.

Whose diary would you most like to read?

Hilary Rodham Clinton’s.

What’s your least favorite food?

Tomatoes, mayonnaise, and organ meat .

If you were an inventor, what would you invent?

I’d invent something that would do all of my dressing and grooming for me.

What is your favorite car?

My long-gone garnet '91 Pontiac Sunbird.

When and where are you happiest?

I’m happiest in those wonderful moments at night when I’m relaxing in a scented bath with the day behind me and the comfort of sleep awaiting me.

What or who is your worst enemy?

I am my own worst enemy along with my evil sidekick Doubt.

What piece of art would you most like to own?

“Mary Magdalene” by Gustav Adolf Mossa.

Where is your favorite vacation spot?

These days, it's my garden in my backyard.

What is your most treasured possession?

I have the fang of a rattlesnake my shaman mentor gave to me as a rite of passage.

Who is your favorite fictional character?

Myself.

If you weren’t a writer, what would you be?

A mortician, an aerialist, a lawyer…who knows?

What current trend would you like to see disappear?

I want to see anything extolling extreme thinness as some kind of virtue disappear.

Always…?

Always remember things can always get worse.

Never…?

Never doubt that things can get better.

My Grandfather's Legacy (1920-2003)

There is no greater gift than a gift that shapes the good character of a child. My grandfather was most generous in his giving and with his gifts.

If I know honesty, it’s because he showed me the value of the truth and of being forthright.

If I know tenacity, it’s because I watched him begin so many projects and never quitting until the task at hand was done.

If I know craftsmanship, it’s because he was able to bring his creations from a blueprint in his mind into a tangible reality.

If I know stability, it’s because he never left me down, never left me alone, and never left me feeling friendless.

If I know loyalty, it’s because he always put his family ahead of anything else.

If I know unselfishness, it’s because he taught me to be open-handed.

If I know love, it’s because he encouraged me to bloom.

Take the gifts. Cherish them. Share them.

Saturday, October 15, 2016

Engaging Hurrican

This brief ritual of offering and of respect is here described as it would be done under ideal circumstances. Working under the threat of an impending hurricane is not ideal, so feel free to improvise and change as suits you best. The real power in this ritual is your intent.

Set up an altar anywhere you can—desks, tables, the floor, anywhere flat.

You will need a large bowl (or whatever you have on hand).

For the offering, you may use fruits, vegetables, coins, jewelry, or similar objects. Rum would be traditional and appropriate, but any kind of sugary drink is an adequate representative. These are to be placed with reverence into the bowl.

If possible, have two lit candles on either side of the bowl. Any kind of candle will do.

When you have assembled the altar, take a few moments to ground and center. Think on what you are about to do and what you hope will be the result.

Recite the following invocation aloud or to yourself.

The Caribe knew better than we
They knew this was more than rain and wind
The saw the power, and they called the power Hurrican
Now, Hurrican, we call to you again
We profess our weakness in the face of your might
Take of this simple offering as a gesture of our respect
Hurrican, you are with us and we are within you
Show your great power, but favor us
Amaze us with your face of pounding surf and driving rain
But we are only human, and as humans, keep us safe
This we ask as humble spirits before divine power
Hurrican, maintain us

Witch Emmie’s Hurrican Charm

You may be able to cobble this together from things you have lying around your home.

Use blue fabric if at all possible.

In the center of the fabric, place any or all of the following: allspice, cloves, nutmeg (Caribbean spices) , a pinch of salt, a silver-colored coin, and a small stone you have found somewhere on your property.

Bring together the corners of the fabric around the ingredients and then tie the bundle with some string.

Keep this charm on you for the duration of the storm.

May you and yours be blessed!

The Famous Are People Too

Is there some celebrity/star/famous person you’re wanting to shout a friendly hello to, even though you realize the chances of this person ever reading what you say are as good as fan mail getting past an agent? I have a method, and it’s worked for me many times. I warn you that it will require time and effort on your part, not to mention a genuine fondness for this person’s work. But to a true fan, it’s worth the effort. You can be e-mail pals with your idol, your crush—how cool is that?

You start by creating a website for yourself. Any one of the free website services is fine if you don’t have the time or money to devote to a web server. A full site with details and interesting features is the best choice, but it’s not the right choice for everyone. A single page can do just as well. You can make it about yourself, but it’s better to discuss your interests, your hometown, your passions—make yourself fully dimensional.

For example, my first (and successful!) attempt came from my first website, Ceridwyn’s Cauldron, in 1996, which was basically about creativity and inspiration. I found an individual I’d been following since high school, and found that he too was building a personal website. So I thought to myself hey, this guy has been my inspiration. Inspiration was the common point of contact.

Great, so what next? At the time, the first generation of webmasters created and shared various “awards” with each other for excellence in features like easy navigation, content, graphics, educational value, and so much more. We were lifting each other through the dawn of this digital age. As my website was about inspiration and my famous person WAS my inspiration, I created the “Ceridwyn’s Cauldron Inspiration Award for Reaching Out to Fans Online” complete with award graphic and explanation of why this website had gotten the nod. I thought, well, no harm, no foul.

Almost 20 years later I’m still e-mail/chat buddies with this person, who was so thrilled that someone…ANYONE…had recognized what he was trying to do that he had immediately written me back to thank me. And our friendship grew out of that.

What does this mean for you? Follow these steps:

Create a personal website. It does not necessarily have to be a fan site.

Think about what you really admire about this person. Hot bods are not the best choice. Go for something deeper, more meaningful.

Create an award based on your website. It doesn’t have to be anything complex, although the more effort you put in, the more likely you’ll get results.

Find out how to contact this person online. This is the hard part, since there are often so many e-mail addresses are floating around with no hint as to what might actually work. Hit them all, if you want. Sooner or later someone might be kind enough to point you in the right direction.

Were you nice? Polite? In adequate fandom? Hit send and wait for the fun!

Now let’s be clear I’m making no promises. I’m just sharing what’s worked for me. If you give it a try, it might work for you. And maybe you’ll be talking about how you made friends with the famous through online communication. Good luck!   

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Scarriemonster's "Ancient" History

I've been at this online thing long enough to have chronicled a good part of my adult life.  In this case, I apparently have a Live Journal that goes waaaaaaay back to 2001.  Shit disturbing is putting it mildly.  Anyway, in the interest of full disclosure, I present the time warp link.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

My September 11, 2001 Journal Entry

I remember the many times I would lay on one of the benches in the plaza of the World Trade Center. Tower 1 was completed in 1970, and Tower 2 in 1973--hence, the rising, dominating figures of the Manhattan skyline are roughly as old as I am. Since I was a little girl, the towers held a fascination for me. Every time I went to New York, I would go and gaze up in awe at the towers and marvel at humanity's ability to create.

Today I wept at humanity's ability to destroy.

Every time I climbed to the top of Tower 1, I loved to go to the panorama windows. I leaned forward as far as the guardrail would allow me, looking down, looking up, in flight over this magnificent city. Of course, standing on the ground up against the building and looking up its length was quite an experience as well.

There's so much more tied into this disaster, I know. But in the midst of it all, I have to collect my own thoughts and center on that part that, somehow, I could deal with and I could grasp. There was an esprit de vie about those towers, and it's hard to believe it's gone forever.

And I think of the people, of the 200+ firefighters and about 80 policemen who lost their lives. I think of the 70,000+ people who worked within the World Trade Center Complex. I think of the passengers of the commercial jets which were turned into bombs.

And I think, is this a one-time event, or is this only the beginning of something more?

My mother launched into a passionate rant against my estranged husband. "He didn't call you. He couldn't even call you. How the hell could he not call you? See how you are? You were just as likely as anybody to be there this morning. How can he care so little?"

Well, I understood her rant, but I wasn't upset by the cause of it. After all, on this day I was surrounded by the people who mean the most to me, and I to them. Who can ask for more?

In closing, I would like to offer a Brujeria prayer, one that we used in the neighborhood vigil we arranged this evening.

From the skies descended
In triumph and splendor
Guadelupe, favor your children with peace
White flowers, red roses
You appeared to us
Once and for always
Favor your children, oh Guadelupe
Oh favor us, you children, with peace

On that note, go in peace, and be well.

Feasting Medieval Style

To recreate an entire Medieval feast would probably require more room, time, and patience than you have. However, it is simple enough to get a taste of the Middle Ages at your own dining table. The following recipes are straightforward, and only barely adapted for the modern kitchen.

You will be making pork pea soup and honey mead. At an actual Medieval feast, you would serve the soup in a trencher, a bowl made of carved-out bread. You would be given a spoon, but you would need to bring your own knife to the table. Forks were still science fiction.

Amounts are given Medieval-style--that is, spice and add to taste. For the soup, you will want to make certain you add three cups of liquid (chicken broth) for every one cup of split peas you use.

PORK PEA SOUP

Ingredients:

A generous portion of Canadian bacon (the closest thing we have to what a Medieval chef would have used), sliced
Dried, split green peas
Chicken broth (see above note)
One head of garlic, cloved and chopped (yes, use the WHOLE head)
Sliced carrots
One onion, diced
Bay leaves
Honey to taste


PREPARATION:
Begin with the chicken broth. Bring it to a slow boil in a large pot. Gradually add the bacon, garlic, bay leaves, onions, and carrots to flavor the broth. When this has come to a boil, stir in the peas. Leave this all to simmer for 2-3 hours, or until the peas have broken down into a paste. Add honey and serve hot.

HONEY MEAD

Ingredients:
1 quart of spring water
1 cup honey
1 sliced lemon
Nutmeg
Pinch of salt
Juice of 1/2 lemon


PREPARATION:
Boil the first four ingredients together, preferably in a non-metallic pot. Scrape off the scum which rises to the top with a wooden spoon. When there is no more scum rising, add the salt and the lemon juice. Strain the mead, and let it cool before serving.

NOTE: This is non-alcoholic mead.

What Is Romance?

If humanity has had a story to tell, it has been about this peculiar entity called love. From the earliest writings of Sumerian love poems and the Song of Solomon to the latest best sellers, we have been captivated and stimulated by tales of love and passion.

Well...maybe not all of us.

Let's consider the lords of the early Middle Ages. These were burly men of battle. When not actually fighting, they wanted to hear tales of battle, they wanted to enjoy the laudations of brute force. The famous Chanson de Roland has its origins in such settings. A wandering poet needs shelter for the night, and to gain shelter, he must please the lord with a tale. The poet then spins a tale of warriors.

This was great...if you were into that sort of thing. But what of those individuals who preferred something softer?

Enter the troubadours and trouveres of the 11th-13th centuries, and the birth of courtly love. Now the lords were away on the Crusades and other wars. Their wives and ladies were left behind to tend the castle and lay the foundations of Western literature. After enduring countless tales of blood and gore, the women welcomed stories which were a bit more evocative, a bit more imaginative, a bit more...romantic.

Since the poets now had to please a new audience, they changed the nature of their tales. Yes, there were love tales, but these tales included much more than a simply love story. There were supernatural elements, magic rings and cloaks to render the wearer invisible. There were love potions and guises and mistaken identities. Through it all, the listener was asked to feel, to emote. These were not one-dimensional characters anymore, but characters into whom life had been breathed.

And so was Western romance born.

The Apology Genre

I got into an argument with the proprietor of a local used book shop the other day. My roommate and I went poking around for old romance novels--those of the bodice-ripper days. We found none. Thinking this was strange, I found the owner and asked where he was keeping them.

She shriveled her lips at me. "I don't carry those books," she sneered.

"Really." I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. "Practicing censorship?"

"Not at all. I just don't read that kind of book."

"Tell me, have you ever read a romance novel?"

"Absolutely not!"

Aha. A literary bigot. They do exist. "It seems silly to me to exclude an entire genre of reading based on what may not be an accurate impression of the genre."

She shrugged. "I don't need to read them. I know what they're all about."

That's the kind of attitude which has gotten books burned on bonfires. It's also gotten people burned at the stake.

I won't go into the gory details of my ensuing dispute with the woman, save to say she displayed a bias against the genre of love which I have found to be alive and well all over. That's bad enough. What makes it worse is the apologetic attitude romance fans then think they need assume. I've seen them in B. Dalton's, I've seen them in Barnes and Noble. They approach the check-out counter with timidity in their eyes. I've seen them on the bus, hiding their books behind purses or newspapers. I've read and heard their academic credentials, as they somehow think this lends validity to their reading selections.

Let me tell you something. I read romance. I read lots of other things, too. The only justification I need is that I enjoy it. I enjoy the transport. That's why I read fiction. Know what? I've never encountered any leery stares or looks of disapproval. I've never been put down by friends and colleagues who detest the genre, simply because they know the me that does the reading. I've also never given anyone any reason for grief (save the woman at the bookstore, but I saw that more as a philosophical issue) by trying to defend my selection of reading material.

Love it or hate it, the romance genre is here to stay. It has been around for as long as man has written. Fiction is preference--it is subjective. It is meant to be enjoyed, not debated in such ways.

There are two sides to this issue: the fans and the foes. To both sides I say, lighten up.

If blind dismissal of an entire genre seems bad, try rattling off an "impressive" (to the foolish, maybe) list of academic and professional credentials as proof of not being the typical romance-reading housewife, sitting home all day with snack cakes in one hand and a novel in the other. The genre can't be justified by the credentials of its fans, and credentials alone do not justify the romance reader.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Delicious and Disturbing

DELICIOUS AND DISTURBING

Welcome to the Mouseloaf Cabal, an Erisian Discordian Disorganization. As has been said, are we an elaborate scam disguised as a religion, or a religion disguised as an elaborate scam?

Who's Eris? Who's Discordia? And what can you do with them?

What the hell is Mouseloaf?

Who are you people and how did you get into this mess?

Is Mouseloaf anything like meatloaf?

Where can I find a cabal for meatloaf?

Are you threatening to eat me?

What's this going to cost me?

There's a chance you will find the answers to all your questions...then again, maybe you'd prefer to guess. It's all good.

Never fear, there's probably more stuff on the way, but we'd be untrue to our nature if we had any idea what that stuff will be or when that stuff will appear.


A BRIEF HISTORY OF MOUSELOAF

How does a successful, self-made businessman like Uncle Louie get started? According to Louie, it all starts with having a dream.

"My papa, he says to me," quoth Louie, "'Hey, Louie, you want you should know something? No one ever went hungry eating rodents.' So that was the point when I thought, 'I must make rodents tasty and convenient, so that every mouth on the planet might be fed mousey goodness."

And thus was MOUSELOAF born.

"There are companies out there who try and pass off processed Mouseloaf as the genuine article, but it just ain't so," Louie points out. "Those Slice O' Mice fiends, for instance. But they're missing the most essential point; Mouseloaf is best made at home, with freshy caught mice. There is simply no alternative to that homemade goodness which is worthwhile."

The Mouseloaf Corporation, therefore, does not produce Mouseloaves. Rather, Uncle Louie is responsible for the following, world-famous recipe, which has started what Spank magazine has called the "Mouseloaf Kulture".

Recipe For Mouseloaf

Catch yourself one hundred mice. Put one aside for aesthetics.
Bathe remaining ninety-nine mice in depilatory cream. This step can be omitted if you like fur in your Mouseloaf.
Throw micies into meat grinder.
Add spices of your choosing (Uncle Louis reccomends a Szechuan Mouseloaf, with ginger, or even a Cajun Mouseloaf, with file powder, cayenne and thyme. Standard American Mouseloaf generally includes pepper, nutmeg and cinnamon).
Take mouse meat and mold it into THE ORIGINAL MOUSELOAF PAN (see information and ordering instructions at the bottom).
Take the mouse you reserved in step one and insert it headfirst into the end of the loaf, so that its hind quarters and tail are sticking out of the loaf. THE ORIGINAL MOUSELOAF PAN is constructed to allow you to do this easily.
Bake.
Eat.

THE ORIGINAL MOUSELOAF PAN
A special cyber-offer from Uncle Louie

According to Uncle Louie, "Unless you manage to fit in that extra mouse at the end, it just isn't a Mouseloaf."

Realizing that conventional cookware just wasn't suiting his needs, Uncle Louie wandered out into his garage and invented THE ORIGINAL MOUSELOAF PAN. This special pan, with a hinged panel designed to accomodate the decorative hundreth mouse, is fully responsible for Mouseloaf being the highly valued aesthetic masterpiece it is today.

Now YOU, TOO can own a complete set of Mouseloaf cookware, to suit all your Mouseloaf needs. For the coronary-causing low, low, low (cheap is the point we're trying to get across here) price of $19.99, you will receive five Mouseloaf pans, ranging from the three-gallon loaf to the mini-loaf for cocktail parties.

Mouseloaf...anything else is just food.


THE DOW OF MOUSELOAF

In which Queen Pepsishark IX and the Magnificent Gookoo encounter the goddess Eris, lately also called Discordia, and learn that in a universe of milk and chaos, only Mouseloaf remains true…

Pepsishark once thought that if there were an operative principle in the universe, it would be milk. Gookoo thought Pepsishark was a little eccentric, but then again she didn’t have any better ideas. Since Gookoo believed that people who didn’t have any better ideas should just shut up, that’s what she did.

Mouseloaf is perhaps the most remarkable substance known to humanity and in the universe itself. Being a food, a building material, a toy, a cultural rallying point, a political pawn, and an engineering phenomenon, Mouseloaf is an astounding success, considering its origins as a use for dead mousies. Mouseloaf—or what has been called Mausloaf Kultur—began in the Paramus, NJ kitchen of a man known only as Unca Louie. His idea for the something that could be anything has conquered the world. Two competitors, Slice O’ Mice and Mooseloaf, have tried to capitalize on Mouseloaf mania but failed so miserably that the Society of Suicidal Lemmings was formed from dismissed employees.

As far as Pepsishark and Gookoo knew, Unca Louie bumped into Eris just before putting Mouseloaf onto those first few lucky shelves. Eris showed Louie Chaos and the Holy Chao, and in seeing Chaos and the Holy Chao, Louie figured there would pretty much be room in the universe for anything, including loaves of mice. Eris was much pleased with Mouseloaf and granted Unca Louie a stick of cinnamon gum and the title Swell Pepsishark I.

Now Pepsishark IX was Unca Louie’s direct descendant in the Mouseloaf Empire. What happened to Pepsishark II through VIII is either unknown or unimportant. At her side went the faithful Magnificent Gookoo.

“I lament,” Gookoo said.

“You lament what, exactly?” replied Pepsishark.

“I lament that in a universe swimming in Chaos, order seems irrelevant.”

“Irrelevant?” Pepsishark tweaked Gookoo’s nose. “Don’t be a silly. Order is a defining instrument of Chaos. Order is what makes Chaos. Without order, Chaos would be nothing but Mouseloaf.”

“Mouseloaf?”

“A loaf of mouse.”

“Oh.”

Pepsishark and Gookoo jumped the fence and played a round of mini golf in the snow. It was an exercise in futility. After all, as it was Winter, the golf course was technically closed. No one was around to care if Pepsishark and Gookoo just dropped their golf balls into the holes and attain terrific scores. There was no one to reward their great talent with goldfish or stuffed dogs drinking beer.

Then in the parking lot, they happened upon an apple fashioned of gold. Let us point out that this is not a regular occurrence in our corner of the universe. Anyway, on the apple were the words “For the fairest”.

“That wouldn’t be me,” Gookoo said.

“Me neither. So what do we do with it?”

“Dunno.” Gookoo kicked at a patch of ice. “Sell it?”

“It’s probably just gold-plated,” Pepsishark said.

“You have a remarkable talent for spotting the valueless.” Gookoo took a step towards the apple oddity. “I like Red Delicious myself.”

Here ends the Dow of Mouseloaf as it has been revealed thus far. You could go back to the beginning and read it again, since beginning and ending are arbitrary anyway.

Searching for a Cathar Feminism 1100-1300

NOTE: This was one of several semester project papers I wrote in the Spring Semester of 1994 as a graduate student at Florida State University. Unfortunately, the original citations are long gone.

Medieval Europe was not ruled by political power. Political states did not yet exist, and power was spread thinly among many nobles all over Europe. The only absolute authority to endure throughout the Medieval period was the universal, or Catholic, Christian doctrine. The Catholic church filled the vacuum left by the collapsed Roman Empire. Though church authority remained decentralized until the eleventh century, it remained highly effective in bishoprics at the local level. Consequently, Medieval life and religion were inextricably connected, as the only authority for the society was the church. God and demons, saints and miracles were not simply something to be believed in; to the Medieval people, they were an integral part of reality.

It follows then that heresy, or a deviation from the prescribed doctrine of the Catholic church, was indeed perceived as the greatest of threats to humanity. That a great divinity had invested its power in the Catholic church on earth was not questioned; for a sect to reject that god- sent doctrine was the greatest of catastrophes. Though the doctrine of the Cathars does not appear remarkably different on the surface from the Catholic model, it was nonetheless condemned as a heresy.

The Cathars were often called Albigensians in the thirteenth century, being especially numerous in the region of the French town of Albi. Yet they were an old and well- established group long before coming to Albi. The name Cathar expresses their most basic and enduring of beliefs. The Cathari were the "pure ones", those who had broken their ties to evil, material things as much as possible. It is best to describe them by the name which symbolizes their rejection of the material world and its hierarchy.

This inquiry is primarily concerned with those aspects of Cathar doctrine which conflicted with orthodox Christianity. The relative positions of women living under both systems in the area of southwestern France, called Occitania1 from the twelfth to the fourteenth centuries will be examined. The issue to be resolved is whether there existed a marked difference in the status of Cathar women. Was there a kind of "Cathar feminism"? If so, to what extent did it exist in theory or practice?

A specific, working definition of feminism is necessary for this evaluation. "Feminism" here is meant primarily to denote a certain level of empowerment and/or respect for women above and beyond the social norm. This includes decision making on a woman's behalf for herself, freedom in lifestyle choices, and a situation approaching equality between the sexes. Instances where any of these conditions have been met help to substantiate the existence of an Cathar feminism, if not by modern standards of equal rights and liberation, in comparison with orthodox Christian society. This study is a search for such instances.

It should be mentioned that most sources available on this period, and on the Middle Ages in general, deal exclusively with the upper classes and the clerics. A simple explanation; these were the people with the power, influence, and, most significantly, the literacy. Peasants neither had the leisure time to learn to read and write, nor could they afford to pay a scribe to write for them. The best and most extensive records come from and document minority of the population. Consequently, this silent common population will not be included in this study. This affects the presentation of orthodox feudal society much more than the Cathar, for the great majority of Cathars were nobles themselves. However, there is a limited scope in feudal Catholicism to be used to adequately represent the feudal society as a whole.

The Catholic philosophy concerning women in the Middle Ages was at best unfavorable, and almost entirely the product of the early church fathers. Such a bias doomed Medieval woman to be relegated to the lower ranks of humanity, as "the Christian writings were the ones that continued to exert the most direct and vital influence on the atmosphere in which Europeans lived and worked throughout the Middle Ages, for the Bible and the Church Fathers were still regarded as having spiritual and practical authority in the fifteenth century and beyond." Selected teachings of Saint Paul on the subject of women became important Christian doctrines. Paul wrote that women must me subordinated in the home and mute in the churches. He permitted no woman to teach, or have authority over men, "For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was the transgressor". According to Saint Augustine, woman was the root of all evil, and as such must be necessarily suppressed.

Many later theologians and preachers maintained that the fact that God had created woman from man's rib rather than from some lower member, like a foot, proved that God intended her to be man's equal. But the ascetic tendencies of Christianity impelled the church to consider woman the original source of sin and a weak vessel peculiarly liable to vice. Her mere existence tempted good men to sins of the flesh, and her inclinations to provocative behavior increased the menace. Moreover, the actual position of woman in contemporary society was bound to influence the ideas of ecclesiastical writers. Thomas Aquinas held that she was ordained to be completely subject to man. "As man stands to God, so stands woman to man".

Men of the Middle Ages had no doubt that all traits were inherited, and that "a good soldier must come from the blood of good soldiers". From the time of the early Germanic codes down through the entire Medieval period, the adultery committed by a wife with a social inferior was a particularly heinous offense. Yet even when the offense was committed with a nobleman of like class, the biological theories of the day held small hope for the offspring of adulterous unions. A child was produced from the merging blood of father and mother; a child of adultery would come from mixed and confused blood and become a man unfit to inherit. This strengthened the inclination on the part of nobles to demand virgin brides, and feudal law insisted on the chastity of wives and young girls.

The social order followed the example of the church in placing restrictions on women's sexuality. If a husband suspected his wife of infidelity, he could kill both her and her lover after issuing a warning. If a father considered anyone to be a menace to the chastity of his daughter, the father could forbid him to approach her, and slay the offender if he violated the prohibition.

It could be surmised that the conditions which governed the lives of the orthodox feudal class forced women to occupy a low place in society. The supreme function of a man was war, and women could not fight. Although the attitude of feudal law towards women had improved considerably by the twelfth century, they were never accorded many rights. Daughters could inherit a fief when there were no sons, but their control of the fief was greatly restricted by male relatives. A woman was never her own mistress, and could exercise her inherited privileges only through her husband or guardian. Before marriage, she existed as the property of her father, to later be turned over to her husband. A woman could not sue in court except through the male in whose charge she was at the time. In short, a woman was always a minor in the tutelage of some male.

A wife bore sons while a mistress satisfied momentary lusts. Concubinage was by no means condoned by the church; however, the church lacked the power to enforce its doctrine. This is one example of the great double standard that existed between men and women. While the woman was expected to be chaste and faithful, her husband had no such obligations. This is made clear by the tremendous numbers of illegitimate births each year. The imposing number of bastards mentioned in the documents of the period shows how thoroughly the nobles appreciated their mistresses. "The noble chose his wife because of her family connections, her dowry, and her ability to bear sons. Beauty, charm and compatibility rarely entered into the matter". As a result, the nobleman was inclined to satisfy his lust where he found the process most pleasant.

Such conditions, of course, varied from region to region. In Occitania, no feudal lord had overriding influence in ecclesiastical appointments, nor was any court active enough to serve as a training ground for bishops. The bishops therefore represented either the interests of a small region or the triumph of one local faction over another. Unable to cooperate effectively, the bishops did not consider the common welfare of Occitania or of Christendom. The papacy, aware of this weakness in the hierarchy of the universal church, had much bigger problems to contend with in the twelfth century.

The lack of ecclesiastical organization in Occitania fostered a slightly deviant society, which in turn contributed greatly to the evolution of the Cathar heresy. But what made the movement so successful was the willingness of the local people to accept Catharism. "The people of Occitania had lost much of their zeal, much of their devotion to the faith". Only a minority ever became Cathars, yet the Catholic majority seemed unconcerned about the heretical threat. The majority never expressed an aversion to the Cathars who were trying to subvert the fundamental institution of the society.

General concepts of Catharism originated in the dualist philosophies of pre-Christian Zoroastrianism and third- century Common Era Manicheanism. Essentially, dualist doctrine advocates the existence of two divine figures. One divinity is good, the god of light and the spiritual world, while the other indulges in evil, the god of darkness and the material world. These two bipolar powers were in constant conflict, which would eventually be resolved in favor of the god of light.

While Catharism was similar to the older dualist traditions, it developed independently, and was in no way a continuation. It was, by all standards, overwhelmingly more Catholic that Manichean or Zoroastrian. In Catharism, the gods of light and dark became the Christian God and Satan. The good God, the God of light, created only the spiritual world while Satan, the god of darkness, was responsible for the creation of the material world. Spirit was intrinsically good; matter was intrinsically evil. Similarly, the soul was good while the body remained evil. The human world served as a battleground between the forces of light and darkness, spirit and matter. Human life, then, freed the soul from the entanglement of the body so that it could enter the spiritual world of light after death.

As all material things had been created by Satan, the Cathar teaching claimed the perfect life was asceticism. Ideally, the Cathars needed to be absolutely celibate, to deny themselves all earthly things, and consume barely enough food and drink to sustain life. The problem of how this sect aspiring to such inhuman principles could survive was solved with the evolution of two classes of Cathars. The perfecti were bound to lead this ideal life of rigid asceticism, and constituted the priestly class. Through a ceremony called the consolamentum, the laying on of hands, a Cathar was inducted into the perfectus class. The ceremony not only eradicated any previous sins, but swore the Cathar to commit no more for the duration of their lives.

However, Catharism took human nature into consideration. It was recognized that a very few could ever become perfecti before their demise became imminent; simple Cathars were not made to feel guilty for their shortcoming. It is important to note that the high standards set for the perfecti were in no way intended to be met by average believers. This much larger group, the credentes or the true believers, were subjected to no restrictions of their lifestyle. Any vocation could be followed. Unlike orthodox Christianity, Catharism imposed no restrictions on eating or drinking. Most significantly, the codes of sexual morality were lax. The only crucial obligations for a Cathar were to renounce all allegiance to the orthodox church, and to undergo the consolamentum before death.

A Medieval Catholic would find surprisingly little in Cathar practice strange or offensive. He would hear verse after verse of familiar passages from the New Testament, repeat the Lord's Prayer, and ask for his sins to be forgiven. Much of what would be found in the Catholic Mass had been omitted, but very little contradiction was added. However, Catharism contradicted Catholicism on the most fundamental of tenets. Most sources on the Cathar beliefs come from the writings of their orthodox Christian enemies. Accordingly, the best-known features of the doctrine are those that directly opposed the teachings of the church. The one real hope of the Medieval people was the blessed life of those who would be called to salvation. Only the church could put men on the path to salvation. Only by believing those eternal "truths" taught in the church, only by receiving grace through the sacraments, could salvation be possible. Anyone who denied these "truths" and the church was therefore the greatest enemy of mankind, "a murderer who sought to kill the immortal soul rather than the earthly body".

The Cathars believed in reincarnation and repudiated the tenet of eternal damnation for sinners. A soul was obliged to live many lifetimes in a human body until it achieved salvation. If earthly bodies were evil, as the Cathars taught, then God could not become incarnate in a man. Therefore, according to the Cathars, the Christian Christ was not God, only an emissary of God; he became a man in appearance only. To the Cathars, the sacraments that the Catholic church claimed to confer divine grace through material elements such as water, bread and wine were inherently blasphemous. Marriage was also condemned, as it led to the production of children and so entrapped more spiritual souls in evil, material bodies.

This last item provides a good starting point for the exploration of a Cathar feminism. The condemnation of marriage was particularly obnoxious in the eyes of their orthodox opponents. Instead, the Cathars advocated a complete reversal of orthodox teaching. Catholicism championed that sex belonged only in marriage, and that sex in marriage must be for reproduction and without pleasure. While the Cathars thought childbearing a great sin, they did not object to sexual motivations other than reproduction. Coupling the indifference placed on performance in the material world with the belief that all bodily sins would be erased by the consolamentum before death, Cathar society virtually destroyed any orthodox restrictions on sexual conduct. It is interesting to note that the population of Occitania grew rapidly during the years of the Cathar expansion.

How this relative sexual liberation affected Cathar women varied from area to area. In the village of Montaillou, the philosophy of sex and marriage was summarized by Guillaume Belibaste, a Cathar holy man. He saw no purpose in adopting the Catholic theology which had governed sternly the institution of marriage. However, he realized that simple Cathar believers would never adopt the perfectus ideal of absolute chastity. "It amounts to the same, and the sin is the same, to know one's wife carnally or to do the same with a concubine. This being so, it is better for a man to attach himself to a definite woman".

Whether Cathar or Catholic, every married woman could expect a fair amount of beating. As the man possessed the initiative in the courtship, he later on claimed the right to violence. The reaction to Guillemette Clergue's black eye is indicative of the sort of behavior expected from husbands. Through some accident or infection, Guillemette had a bad eye, and was travelling to find a cure. On the way, she encountered the perfectus Prades Tavernier, who assumed she had been beaten. Later, in her testimony to Jacques Fournier, Guillemette admitted to keeping her rapport with Tavernier a secret from her husband for fear of abuse, perhaps even death.

Certain enlightened Cathars who had carefully studied the Bible advocated more humane treatment of women. But as far as the institution of marriage was concerned, civilization was misogynous. Pierre Authoe himself, despite his affection for his daughter, generally considered women as something base. Belibaste, who married and unmarried his mistress to Pierre Maury within a few days, never made a mystery of his male chauvinism and masculine imperialism. According to Belibaste, a woman's soul could not be allowed into paradise after her death, and would only achieve that glorious end after being reincarnated as a man.
One area in which Catharism differentiated sharply from orthodox Christianity was the opportunity offered to women in the hierarchy of the religion itself. An imperfect parallel can be drawn between orthodox monasticism and the perfecti. Both were committed to lives of celibacy and self-denial. Although certain monasteries allowed women to participate, and a few convents existed, women were generally relegated to lower, insignificant positions.

Women could, however, be accepted among the perfecti; it is widely speculated that this was the main appeal of Catharism for women. The perfecti were the ministers of the Cathar faith, wandering in pairs through the countryside to be with the credentes. Women and men worked together to gain converts to the faith and maintaining devotion. To be a perfecta gave a woman a higher status than she could ever attain in the Catholic church.

A connection that cannot be overlooked is the development of courtly love ideals in the area most permeated by Catharism. Some explanation of courtly love and its origins is a necessary contribution to this overall investigation. In Occitania, the noblewoman was subject to her husband, but was also mistress of her household. Servants performed their tasks and children received their training under her supervision. In the absence of the lord, the woman took control of both household and fief.

The ideas of courtly love first appeared in the lyric poetry composed by the troubadours of Southern France. In Occitania, many of these wandering minstrels were also Cathar. Speculatively, the Occitanian troubadour ideas of love and relations with women grew spontaneously out of the environment supplied by the region in the eleventh and twelfth centuries. A popular anecdote of the first troubadour poetry begins around 1150. A hungry minstrel, wandering around the duchy of Aquitaine, came to a castle where he hoped his tales of battles, broad stories and tumbling tricks would earn him a good dinner. Unfortunately, the lord was absent; the lady of the castle had become weary long before of boring tales of endless battles and masculine aggression. It occurred to the minstrel that if he composed a song in praise of the lady's beauty and virtue, whether or not she had either of these, and described the effect they had on him in glowing terms, he may be fed after all. The experiment must have been successful. Soon, the halls of Occitania were ringing with songs in praise of ladies who were able to dispense lavish hospitality. While the minstrels sang for a living, barons and knights indulged in the musical fad because it was pleasant and fashionable.

Courtly songs were inspired by a new conception of love. Love was the emotion produced by the unrestrained adoration of a lady. Love might be rewarded by smiles, kisses, or higher favors, but their presence or absence had no essential effect on love itself. All the benefits and torments which came to the lover grew out of simple worship of a worthy woman. This love would be inspired by the lady's good qualities, such as her beauty, wit, charm and character.

The effects of this love were not purely emotional and physical; it improved a man in every way. By developing the idea that a noble could not be a perfect knight unless he loved a woman the Cathar troubadours laid the foundation of courtly chivalry. Women were bound to enjoy a more elevated position in society, Although she could not fight herself, she could make a man a better warrior. The women of Occitania were accorded a great deal more respect than was common, and in this way did there exist an ideological, courtly, and chivalric kind of feminism.

That courtly love did at least improve women's collective egos in this period is probable. However, ladies were revered as passive goddesses, who were adored whether they wished to be or not. Women played no active role in the poetic courtship. Additionally, the ideas of courtly love had little effect on the lives of wives and maidens.

The essentially innocent practice of courtly love might furnish temptation. An orthodox rebuttal to the Occitanian troubadours can be found in Andrew the Chaplain's De Amore. The attitude of the church was fully explained and supported with solid arguments; in arguing for the traditional customs of the feudal world and Catholic church, Andrew's heart was fully in his work. The section entitled De reprobation amoris consists largely of a furious diatribe against women. "Love for a woman is a passion which comes from looking at and thinking too much about the body of the other sex". Geoffrey de la Tour Landry composed a book of advice for the instruction of his young daughters. He rejected without hesitation the precepts of courtly love. Accepting fully the feudal and ecclesiastical attitude toward adultery, he had nothing but condemnation for any woman who slipped from the path of strict virtue. He was careful to point out that a woman who lost her reputation for chastity would be scorned by all worthy people; however, a promiscuous male would be lauded. La Tour Landry bemoaned the fact that such excellent ancient customs as burying illicit lovers alive had fallen into disuse.

How fully the courtly love philosophy was developed in practice among the Cathars is virtually undocumented. "Though it is certain that the joyous love songs of the troubadours and the worship of the pure ones were often heard together, that one influenced the other to any degree can only be speculated". Only an educated guess can be made as to how much courtly love affected the life of the average Cathar woman.

Although it appears that feminism would be an exaggeration in describing the status that Cathar women enjoyed, the difference between their lives and the lives of their orthodox sisters is still significant. That Cathar women had the chance to become perfectae is difficult to credit fully from the modern viewpoint. In allowing women to join its most holy ranks, the Cathar church deviated wildly from orthodox Christianity; in attaining this status, the Cathar women discovered a success in their lives that has no modern parallel.

The body was by definition evil, woman's body was no more so. Yet only in rare cases was this theoretical equality actualized, the general Cathar acceptance of sexuality being such a case. Holy or courtly pleas to respect one's spouse or daughter were nodded at politely in public, but ignored in the home. The gentility of the Cathar faith could not overcome the ruthless patriarchal domination of the feudal system.

A Satanic Rule for Instant Messaging

I speak for the people who are fed up with creepy little monkeypeople who, for reasons unknown, believe themselves interesting enough for a conversation.

Chats among friends, colleagues, and loved ones are another matter. I mean the people who would waste our—yours and mine—most precious commodity, time. I mean the people so deeply unable to connect and relate to real human beings that they suppress all of their desires and urges and let them loose online where they are fruitless.

Chat leeches, heed my words, for your reign is over. I am a society of one, and I am not lonely.

If you are a stranger to me and you have not found me through an online group of common interest, you have no real reason to send an instant message.

Don’t assume that I subscribe to the idea of a friendly community of humans. I don’t. If you contact me, you have stepped into my lair uninvited. Prepare for the consequences.

You ask me “ASL”. I say “WTF?” or “BFD” or, perhaps most effectively, “No.”

If I am in stealth mode or I choose to be invisible, why do you not take the hint? How much more obvious can I make my volition? I promise there is no reason why you are the exception to the rule.

Take your antiquated notions of male-female relationships and kindly shove them as far up any bodily orifice you prefer. I am a liberated woman, it is true, but more importantly I am a human of power.

I haven’t given you the mating signal. I don’t want to look at you.

You ask me for my photograph. Who are you to look at me? What is your worth?

English is my native language. It is my preferred language of communication. I’m terribly sorry if your English is not so good, but then perhaps you should find someone who speaks your own language. I am not obligated to navigate the obstacle course of English with you. If you have trouble in English it is your problem, not mine.

Tread carefully through unfamiliar doorways, for you never know when the other side will be a nest of vipers.

Vamping The Vampires (2010 Archive)

Philadelphia is an American metropolis with a thriving vampire community. But out of all the real vampires in the area, P. Rob Royal singled me out for a project about--of course--vampires. I wanted to share our (Facebook) correspondence with you.

P. Rob Royal June 17 at 7:18pm

Hello,

My name is Rob Royal and I'm an executive producer here at Channel 6. I'd like to talk to you about vampires. I need to get smarter about them. I would like to get a copy of your handbook. Can yo please call me at 484-664-8603.


Emilie Conroy June 17 at 10:49pm

I would be more than happy to help you to the fullest extent that I can, but as my schedule is so busy I prefer to use messaging or e-mail for communications. Let me give you the basics.

I am the elected Matriarch of the Order of Maidenfear, an international network of real vampires. This weekend we are celebrating our fortieth anniversary with an event we call the Ruby Solstice. Much of the vampire community participates in organized groups such as ours.

Additionally, I am the director and webmistress of Vampgeist Creative Media at http://www.vampgeist.com/ . Our main task has been to help people in the community and people outside the community find each other and successfully navigate media opportunities and traps. If you visit the website you will find a lot of information, all of which is freely available.

The Hybrid Vampire Handbook is available athttp://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-hybrid-vampire-handbook/2756708 . At the moment I'm contracted for several other real vampire book projects, including a conversational narrative about my personal experiences, a history of our Order, tales from the Vampgeist project, and a workbook in energy or pranic vampirism.

The world of the real vampire is multifaceted and always changing. It's been my experience that people find real vampirism even more interesting than the vampirism of film and fang. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me.



P. Rob Royal June 17 at 11:31pm

Thank you for responding to my message.

I have been reading information on the various websites you suggested since this afternoon. I have not been able to see a copy of the Hybrid Vampire Handbook, but we would like to read it.
I'm working with reporter Brian Taff to produce a report on vampires in our area.

As I'm sure you are aware, there is a renewed facination with vampires. Our network has a new TV show beginning and the newest Twighlight movie opens next week. But we're looking to give viewers insight into real vampire communities. Would you allow us to attend part of the Ruby Solstice? We would also need to interview someone about the vampire community. Could you do that video interview?

I've read some of your messages detailing what you do and don't do as a vampire ... kind of letters to educate people outside your community. I would really appreciate the opportunity to let our crew attend part of this weekend's event. We have attended and recorded Wiccan ceremonies in the past and have been very respectful.

You can respond via facebook or my email address: rob.royal@abc.com

Thank you again.


Emilie Conroy June 18 at 12:25am

Let me get back to you. I think I can provide what you're seeking, or if not I can point you in the direction of someone who does.

Unfortunately Ruby Solstice is a closed event, mainly to protect those in our group who do not wish to go public with their vampire lifestyles. I've been out in the open since 1988, and would have no trouble giving you a thorough and interesting interview--so long as no one is expecting Morticia Addams complete with fangs, cape, and a wooden coffin filled with the ground of my homeland!

I'm more aware of the pop vampire than I care to be, but it's all part of the package I suppose. For example, I have gotten e-mail addressed to the famous names in vampire fiction--Edward Cullen, Lestat, Celine from "Underworld", and the rest of the gang. That is, there are people who expect me to put them in contact with one of these characters, since I have the connections and whatnot. Sometimes I think a real vampire's biggest headache is the vampire fan!

Keep in touch, and take care!


P. Rob Royal June 18 at 12:47am

I thank you again for being willing to help.
Unfortunately for me, I'm trying to broadcast a report within the next couple of days. If at all possible, I would like to interview you tomorrow evening. You can reach me anyway that works for you ... facebook, email or my cell phone. Good night.


Emilie Conroy June 18 at 1:13pm

I have to apologize. You had originally written I "I'd like to talk to you about vampires. I need to get smarter about them", and so I believed you were planning to take the time to research. I didn't realize how important rushing this story was. That being the case, I really can't do more than I've already offered.

Getting an inherently secretive community to open up about its activities is hard enough. Best of luck working with a tight time constraint.

I'm looking forward (in a macabre masochistic way) to seeing what these guys do manage to produce. Sure, it was an opportunity to talk about the vampire community as we know it, but I'm pretty sure anything I said would have been mangled and the whole thing turned into a one-ring circus. Sigh.

(2016 postscript--nothing ever materialized)

Vampire News!

GENETRIX TOWER OPENS

Valerius Victorious, Victrix Vexed

The three year battle over control of the vampire community in New Hadria ended today. Solange Auriville of the Council of Metaspecial Interests officially declared the new headquarters of the Genetrix Order open for residents and businesses. This is the first city charter to be given to a vampire organization and makes the Genetrix the official order in the city.

Originally one of the city’s Old Age apartment houses and still the tallest building in New Hadria, Genetrix Tower will now stand as a testament to the vital presence and influence of Hadrian vampires. “This day has been long in coming, but not one of us had any doubts about this action,” Auriville said at a press conference in the Genetrix Tower lobby. “The Genetrix has been an asset to all of us in New Hadria. Yes, they are vampires, but they are also outstanding citizens and great contributors to our society. They have earned this distinction.”

Valerius, called the Prince of the Genetrix and the leader of the Order, has been working closely with Auriville and the Council to achieve this goal. “This is the realization of a dream for my kind. The Tower is a symbol of our strength and our unity. I may have led the way, but I defer to my brothers and sisters for having the courage to share my vision.”

Valerius arrived in New Hadria five years ago. His history and original name remain unknown, in keeping with vampire tradition. But he brought with him ancient knowledge, a philosophy that would spread through the city. He called his way the Genetrix and thousands flocked to him for teaching and fellowship.

But the Genetrix was not the only vampire order in New Hadria. Three years ago Aurelian, the Lord of the Victrix, demanded that Valerius cease his efforts to gain city recognition. Having been born in New Hadria, Aurelian contested that his own group, the Order of the Victrix, merited preference over the Genetrix. Aurelian continued his argument despite repeated rejection from the Council of Metaphysical Interests.

The leader of the Victrix could not be reached for comment, but he did prepare a statement for the New Hadria Crier. “Obviously, by virtue or by vice, Valerius has managed to imprison the Council in his pocket. The city can do whatever it wants. We of the Victrix are not bound by any phony accord. Let the Genetrix enjoy their charter and their fame. We are still vampires and we are still here. We will be the dissenting voice in the crowd. I am no less a champion of my Order than Valerius is of his, and I owe the Victrix nothing less than to keep fighting.”

In reaction to this statement, Valerius said, “I am saddened that Aurelian will not simply come to peace with us. We extend friendship and coexistence. After all, we have much more in common than we have in conflict.”

But today is the day for the Genetrix. As vampires take up residence in its many apartments and restaurants, stores, and services move into the commercial floor, Genetrix Tower promises to become the biggest center of commerce and community in New Hadria.

“This is the start of an amazing future for our vampire citizens,” Auriville said. “From here, nothing is impossible.”

Return of the Corvids

I'm the angel who plucked too many feathers out of her stupidly designed unaerodynamic wings due to a nervous habit and plummeted to earth.

And I'm the daemon who drank so much root beer and managed to giggle myself right up out of hell.

Today, we're your friendly neighborhood corvids...

RavenBlood and RavenBran!

But since neither heaven nor hell, nor angels nor daemons exist...

We don't actually exist either.

So you might want to take what we say with a grain of salt.

Welcome to this, our Statement of Porpoise. Raven, do they have porpoises at Sea World?

Uhhh...dunno Raven. Never gotten to feel around the dolphin tank to see for myself. I never saw the porpoise.

Oh. Well, anyway, instead of posting some lame crapman piece of bureaucratic bullcookies explaining why we are, we figured we'd do it this way. It's kind of like talking to us.

Except you don't get to ask us any annoying questions.

But we'll try and be helpful anyway. Raven, I'll let you handle this one. We're the Osceola Corvids. But I bet the folks are asking, what in Sam Hill is a corvid?

When did I become an orinthologist?

Raven bonks Raven on the head with a spherical cow and threatens to withdraw all sexual favors.

Okay, I give. Raven doesn't play fair. Anyway, porpoises are NOT corvids, so let's get that out of the way first. "Corvid" is a cutesy way of referring to the Corvidae family of birds. It's a big'un, too. But in the Osceola Corvids, we're principally concerned with two birds, the crow and the raven.

Why? Well, mostly because we feel a kind of affinity for these black birds. In the traditions of many cultures, these are creatures of magic, mysticism, and wisdom. Keep in mind that none of us think we're ACTUALLY the birds we favor--although having wings wouldn't be bad.

The subject, Raven.

Well tell me you wouldn't like to be able to fly?

At any rate, the Osceola Corvids are a bunch of creative and fun people who happen to identify with ravens and crows. Usually, a member will take a name for use among the murder (that's our equivalent of "flock") or for when acting as a member. You'll notice that we here are calling ourselves RavenBlood and RavenBran, and you probably deduced that these aren't our legal names. Uh, I hope you did.

Essentially we're all about friends getting together to be creative, express ourselves, and have a good time. Late night gatherings at various Denny's--
--they haven't tossed us out yet, and I applaud them for their tolerance--

--are a typical and frequent event. We're not hard to spot. We'll be the laughing crowd hidden in the back dressed, of course, in black.

The Eric Draven fashion is always popular--you know, the hero from the film, "The Crow" or the hero from the original graphic novel by James O'Barr? Of course no one thinks they ARE Draven, but it's fun to see what Crow statements people devise. The face paint is always popular, and many dress right down to PVC and electrical tape. Others wear their old but loved Crow t-shirts.

Even these two Ravens become Crows. It's not all make-up and costuming, though. We have people show up just as they are in everyday life, and that's fine too. Anything goes--but don't push us, because we do take that literally.
She's not kidding.

We also gather at The Nest, which is our own home. You'd be surprised. Very often we get into reading and/or philosophical discussions. Of course, we also get silly. A favorite activity is watching horror films or even "The Crow" for the millionth time, reciting along with the movie.

So who can become a Corvid? Well, usually we ask an interested person to hang with us and see if they feel at home with us. Interest is really the only requirement, although I prefer if new folks have a good sense of humor. There's no alcohol served at any Corvid function, but I still prefer members to be over the age of eighteen. Frankly, we may get into discussions of things or watch things deemed unsuitable for younger people, and we'd prefer not to get into a sticky entanglement with angry parents.

You understand.

I'm sure.


Pearls of Wisdom

"Well, DUH!"
"It's exactly the same, except almost completely different."
"This is a no-Zen zone for the next fifteen minutes."
"I'm king/queen of my cube!"
"NOT"
"Pro-Fucking-Choice!"
"Happiness is where you are, not where you'd like to be."
"AMAZON!"
"We need more people like us and fewer like them."
"If space and time are curved, then where do straight people come from?"
"Self-respect before respectability."
"We've been too nice for too long."
"That's not Spam, that's my husband."
"Silence is not protection."
"Oh, EVOLVE!"
"I love everybody and you're next."
"Unique, just like everybody else."
"Control your destiny or someone else will."
"Don't follow me, I'm following my bliss."
"Don't piss me off. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies."
"Don't start with me. You will not win."
"Eat right, exercise, die anyway."
"Your village called. The idiot is missing."
"Bubble wrap is cheaper than therapy."
"VEGETARIAN = Lousy hunter"
"So what about the speed of dark?"
"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."

Solving School Violence

Do you know what can stop school violence? Polar bears!

I'm not entirely kidding. They need a new habitat and our schools need better guarding. Let's bring in polar bears that are released into empty halls during classes. The schools would have to be kept really cold, so that might take some of the fight out of the blighters. Then if kids are skipping or causing trouble, let them take it up with a hungry polar bear.

After all, polar bears don't know class distinction. They don't care about race or gender. It comes down to hungry or not hungry. How many kids would have to be eaten before the school population got the message to stay in class. One? Possibly two?

The way things are going in Ackerland, is this really any more ridiculous than what's already going on? Bring on the polar bears!