The Autumnal Equinox

Mabon Traditions and a Recipe

Take a seed in your hand. This is a seed born of the summer’s harvest. Although the days are growing shorter and you may feel a slight chill in the air, that seed represents a promise made from the earth to you. It is a promise of rebirth, of the life that will thrive next year. The festival of Mabon is all about that promise.

Mabon is named for the Welsh god of youth. He is also a death god. In this perfect balance of youth and death, Mabon represents perfect balance as a guardian of the gate to the Summerland. A patron of hunters and fishermen—and an accomplished hunter himself—Mabon is traditionally honored at the great autumn harvest.

The Autumnal Equinox is also an example of perfect balance, as night and day meet in equal lengths. In fact the word equinox means “equal night”. This phenomenon which determines the turnings into spring and into fall has been observed and celebrated for thousands of years.

Embrace Mabon as a point of perfect balance. Take this time to explore where you are. Consider where you are and where you’re going.

Celebrating Mabon can include lots of harvest delicacies, but one of the most festive and fitting is zucchini bread. Follow this simple recipe to make your own.

2 cups sugar 1/2 cup vegetable oil 2 eggs 3 teaspoons vanilla 3 cups grated zucchini 1 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoons baking soda 1/2 teaspoons baking powder 3 cups flour 3 teaspoons cinnamon (or more)

1 teaspoon nutmeg (or more)

Mix all ingredients together. Bake in greased loaf pan at 350 degrees for 1 hour or until an inserted toothpick comes out clean.

Mead is a popular beverage for any of the festivals of the year. This harvest version is non-alcoholic and can be made just ahead of time.

2 gallons apple juice

1 liter ginger ale

1 pound honey (any kind)

3 teaspoons cinnamon

3 teaspoons cloves

1 teaspoon powdered ginger

1 sliced apple

Combine the liquid ingredients in a saucepan and place over medium heat. Slowly stir in the honey. When the honey has become part of the liquid bring the entire mixture almost to boiling. Reduce heat to a low level and stir in the spices. Let it simmer for fifteen minutes to a half hour. You can serve this warm or chilled.

An appropriate craft for Mabon is to make necklaces of dried seeds. Again the seed is symbolic of a promise of life again after the coming of winter. You can purchase seeds or you might want to go out and gather your own. Acorns are especially significant. Using a needle, poke a hole in each seed and string them like beads onto a strong string. This makes a thoughtful gift for the sabat.

For Mabon incenses and oils, cinnamon, nutmeg, and clove make excellent base ingredients. A good incense will include equal parts of each spice. For an oil you can purchase prepared oils and blend them. You can also steep the spices in an oil such as olive or grapeseed to gain the scent and the potency of the spices. Figure on two tablespoons of spice for every half ounce of oil.

Happy Mabon!

Start something new this Mabon. Keep a seasonal broom!

And what is a seasonal broom? Imagine taking a plain broom and decorating it for the Days of Power. But decorating for one day is no fun. When you decorate, do it for the season that surrounds that Day of Power.

I’ve had a decorated broom in my home for fifteen years. I keep my seasonal broom proudly displayed in my livingroom. Of course people ask questions, and often they think it’s a creative and special idea. It’s a great introduction to talking about the Craft and Pagan paths.

In a sense keeping a seasonal broom can help you stay in contact with the Wheel of the Year and reaffirm your commitment to your path. At Imbolc, you can think about how to decorate for Beltane. This way you are reminding your inner self that yes, you are serious about this path and you will still be walking it in the future.

When I talk about a broom, I don’t mean the long kind you would use to sweep the floor. The broom should be smaller, such as the kind sold in handcraft stores. I use a Halloween broom I received as a gift several years ago. These costume brooms are actually ideal for both decoration and for ritual purposes. Another advantage is a low price. Remember that it doesn’t matter how or where you get your broom. What counts is the power and effort you will put into the decorating.

Decorating can be a costly endeavor. I urge you to keep two suggestions in mind. If you’re going to buy your decorations at a craft or fabric store, buy items out of season. That is, after Yule is a great time to purchase new decorations for the following Yule. My other suggestion is to take a careful look at your local dollar or other budget store. I have found some amazing things that make wonderful brooms. Don’t let the low price fool you. With a little imagination you can go far.

Let’s begin with the Mabon broom, as that is the season we are entering. For the harvest festivals I use artificial fruit with a golden shimmer. The handle of the broom is wrapped in soft gold ribbon, which is a contrast to the bright gold I use in the spring and summer. I have a garland of changing leaves that I wrap around the handle and leave hanging.

For Samhain I have a special sheer cobweb pattern ribbon that I bought out of season. As it is my tradition that Samhain is a festival of the other side, I keep the broom veiled in black fabric. Sometimes I will ass little seasonal touches, but mostly I like to keep it plain.

Yule means decorating with a generous hand. I wrap a pine garland along the broom handle. A few years ago I found a small silver garland with dangling suns and moons. Little pinecones adorn the entire broom. Finally I add a big red bow at the top of the handle and where the handle meets the straws.

My Imbolc broom is my favorite. I start with gossamer dark blue and silver ribbon. The sun and moon garland from Yule stays. Along with big silver bows, I add little silver snowflakes.

The Ostara broom sheds all the traces of the winter brooms. I use a pastel ribbon for the handle. Since it’s just the beginning of flower season, I use an artificial branch of forsythia and a few tufts of baby’s breath. The basic idea is soft rebirth.

At Beltane I introduce the passion of the building season. The forsythia stays and is joined by bold red roses. I entwine red and deep green ribbons along the handle, and include a thin gold ribbon.

For Litha, I decorate my broom with the full, sensual blooms of summer—bold red roses and tropical flowers. This broom is a celebration of the senses to reflect the run reaching its very peak.

Lughnasdh is the beginning of the harvest cycle, and so the bright life of the Litha broom is replaced by a more subtle suggestion of the harvest. For this I hang a variety of artificial fruits and vegetables of the harvest, such as corn cobs and grapes. The strong gold ribbons of the fertility festivals are replaced with a softer gold, reminiscent of the softer sunlight of the fall.

And so the Wheel of the Year has turned and we have come to Mabon again.

Remember that there is no one way to decorate your broom. Try to represent what the spokes of the Wheel mean to you personally in your dressing of the broom. Additionally, as you work with your broom, try to really imagine yourself working for the Day of Power. Feel it and let it inside of you. Connect yourself to the Wheel of the year and to nature itself!

Lights for the Ancestors

My freshman year of college was the first time I celebrated Mabon without my family. That year I decided to bring the old tradition to my newly adopted family—my friends from the dormitory. No one else practiced the Craft, or at least not consciously. But the idea of celebrating the Autumnal Equinox appealed to them. They asked me how we could hold our own Mabon, and so I opened up the family circle to them.

In our family the basic theme for Mabon is Lights of the Ancestors. As the sun bows into the darkness, we send lights with our thoughts of those who have gone before us. Candles provide some of this light, but the real stars are little walnut shell boats bearing small candles that we set afloat. All four elements are represented. The air above guides the boats on the water. Earth is the land on which we gather. As Water is represented by itself, the lit candles bring fire.

A walnut is a tangible symbol of Mabon. It is the promise of rebirth within the shell. Lights of the Ancestors uses both the shell and the meat. Carefully crack open about a dozen walnuts, preserving both the walnut and the shell halves. Set the nuts aside for the ritual feast.

You will also need three votive or vigil candles, a drink for the libation and to share with the earth, birthday candles, and a lighter or matches. Lights of the Ancestors should be performed next to a body of water. My college group went to a lake just off campus. If this is impossible, use a filled bathtub or sink basin.

Arrange your materials so that the water lies to the west of your ritual area. Place the candles to the east, north, and south, allowing yourself enough room to work. Concentrate and think of people who have touched you in some way. Now assemble the ancestor boats. Take half of a walnut shell. Let a little wax from a birthday candle drop into the shell and then fit the candle in the wax like a mast.

As you light the candle in each boat, think about the people of your past. Place the boat on the water. Repeat this until you have a small flotilla before you. After some quiet meditation, eat some of the walnuts and leave some for the earth. Then drink your libation, leaving enough to pour on the ground. It is done.

You probably noticed that I did not include any circle castings or ritual words. I believe you need to supply these for yourself. Don’t worry that you’ll do something wrong. As long as you are in touch with yourself, there is no wrong way. May your Mabon be an abundance of meaning!

Some Pawprints from the Book of Woof

Ancient Dog Wisdom

For Canine and Human

Look to the Dog Within, for the Dog Within is wise.

Humans should be more than the means to an end. Try friendship.

Showing enthusiasm towards going for walks is the surest way to go for more walks.

When in doubt, bark. Safety first.

Your humans may or may not be organized into a neighborhood watch or a neighborhood association.
Regardless, you should network with other Woofists through barking and urination for the peace and
well-being of your home territory.

Cats are to be granted tolerance and even the grace of peaceful coexistence.

The appreciation of a dead bird or squirrel on a cold winter’s morning may vary widely with the
character of your particular human.

Fireworks are the creation of anti-dog thoughtforms, as is thunder. There is no shame in hiding from these calamities.

Make yourself endearing in any situation, from curling up on the floor to explaining the unleashed
mountain of garbage in the kitchen.

House of Ma'at

Out of the House of Ma'at

Chamber with the scales

Of heart and truth

I see all and hear mine own name

For one and five thousand years

I have been called

“Sacred Lady of Justice and Order

Be with me when I am judged”

Azure ostrich plumes

Fall from my eyes

The blessed tears of Ma’at

Oh children

Why do you invoke me?

You do not understand

You do not serve

In truth I say

Be wary of that bearing

My sacred name of Ma’at

As the green flow of life

Conquers the sand

So will justice prevail over corruption

In calling my name

So you too balance your heart

Against the feather of my integrity

Beware that you summon Me wisely

I am Ma’at who sees within

Diva Darvulia--Fashion for Children of the Night!

I'm back with a new prospect, thanks to my healthy swath of connections on Facebook and elsewhere.  Now...we all know my familiarity with things goth, vampire, witchy, and like themes.  I'm looking into curating the fashions shadow folk will go Poe for--Diva Darvulia!  Stay tuned for news...

Emmie's 10 Top Goofball Gore Fests

We all know it. There's serious horror. Then there's schlock. Schlock as I see it is gore meets comedy meets some subliminal sex/let's get laid kind of vibe. This is a list of my 10 favorite (in no particular order) "films" to play at parties for the sheer WTF factor.


House of 1000 Corpses--Rob Zombie's magnum opus that introduced us to the redneck charm of Captain Spaulding.

Nosferatu--I mean the old one, the version Florence Stoker tried to stop for copyright infringement. It's a good one, and I dare you not to do your own Count Orlock impressions.

Plan 9 from Outer Space--The worst film ever made by the worst director in history? Ed Wood gets a rough treatment from critics, but there's no way we can watch this and not get a good laugh.

Dead Alive--Once held to be THE goriest movie ever, this was directed by Peter Jackson before he went all Middle Earth. You won't want any soup for a while.

Q--That's short for Quetzalcoatl, the Aztec serpent deity who is alive and well and snatching big-boobed chicks off of rooftops in Manhattan.

Wizard of Gore--This often serves as the training film for people deadly serious about joining the ranks of the Horror Army. It's not the graphics that power the film, it's the sheer ambition.

Terror Toons--The object lesson as to why we need to make sure our mail isn't coming from Satan.

Brainscan--When does virtual reality become reality? I've been for the actual game to be available for years now. No luck. ;)

Satan's Cheerleaders--You probably already have figured this one out. Yvonne DeCarlo (Lily Munster) is an evil priestess and well worth watching.

Killer Klownz from Outer Space--This may be the best cashing in on the prevalent fear of clowns I've ever seen.

NOT A FILM, BUT WORTH WATCHING
Todd and the Book of Pure Evil--This is a Canadian gore, adventure, and humor fest that ran for two seasons before getting cancelled. Don't miss it!

Living Vampire In The Quaker City

So I participated in this roundtable discussion on the current state and the future of the living vampire subculture.

“[A note about my terminology–“living vampire” means both what is also called a “real vampire” as well as the state of existing as a vampire.]

Question 1: Is the term ‘vampire’ still wholly valid and applicable to the wider subculture?

Lately we have been discussing whether we are living in a post-vampire world. Whoever we are and whatever we do as a subculture, “vampire” is a loaded word. It would be difficult to find someone (at least someone who’s been living with other human beings) who didn’t have at least a small reaction or a slight preconceived notion upon hearing the term. In the thirty-some years I have been an active participant in the subculture, I have seen it grow and flourish as more individuals have discovered their own vampire natures. However, I’ve seen little acceptance of new meanings outside of the subculture. To put it another way, living vampires are a hard sell.

Some will say this doesn’t matter. Non-vampires cannot possibly understand the truth anyway, so we shouldn’t concern ourselves. But we don’t exist in a vacuum. Even vampires have to share the planet. We can’t expect people to grasp that what we mean by “vampire” is probably very different from what they might be imagining. On this point we need to make a choice. We can either proceed calling ourselves vampires or be aware of the baggage the word carries, or we can seek out a new term that maybe better embraces us.

I’m a firm believer that the use of a word ultimately defines its meaning. As an example, this is how we are able to identify with the term “vampire” without meaning a crabby revenant craving blood and mayhem from a Saturday horror matinee. But what do we really mean by vampire? Who are “we” anyway? Is there enough room for multiple interpretations?

The subculture has never been so much an ideological whole as it has been a union of independents and individuals. To try and affirm that “vampire” has one definition universally accepted by the subculture is its own kind of dark humor. I know what I mean by vampire, and I know better than to presume it’s shared with anyone else (even if technically I’m aware that others have adopted it for their own use). Absolutes in the vampire subculture is a notion that makes me nervous, but one absolute I can embrace is that there is no one correct, proper, and true definition of the term we all embrace.

Circling back, I believe that the validity and application of “vampire” is dependent upon how its meaning can be adapted to use. I realize that this doesn’t sit well with a significant portion of the subculture who would rather there be one accepted corrected definition–preferably theirs. The irony of supporting independent thought and denotation is that I also recognize the right of participants to adhere to a more restricted interpretation.

For my part, I don’t think this is the way we keep “vampire” alive. Not only should we be open to the different ideas that we read or see or hear, we need to keep our own minds fresh and curious, always receptive to new suggestions and information. If we can allow use to define meaning, “vampire” will stay relevant both today and in the future.

Question 2: What is the best methodology for the subculture to move forward in the 21st century?

My bright-eyed and enduring optimism might be speaking here, but…

The vampire subculture of 2017 now has several decades of success to its credit. We need to step back and appreciate this for the accomplishment it is. We’ve grown, we’ve flourished, we’ve created. We’ve had problems and we’ve bounced back. We’ve suffered losses and internal disputes and yet we continue. Perhaps the greatest strength of the vampire subculture is in its resilient nature. In any event, through endless work and dedication we’ve created a subculture that now has a considerable history. Examining that history gives us ideas of how to chart our continued progress in the future.

In my view the greatest leap forward has been a new interest in scientific and medical research. The idea that the living vampire has physiological components is too important to avoid. I know many in the subculture for whom living vampire is a physical, biological condition. My own experience with pernicious anaemia and the subsequent functional need for blood not my own (usually by transfusion, although I have a monogamous donor who’s helped me through the rough times, even long before I had a diagnosis) has brought me into the science-aware medical sanguinarian community–I cannot stress enough what a tremendous help it’s been. For a successful future, we need to encourage this scientific approach. Maybe it destroys the “romanticism” of the vampire, but in practical terms for many living vampires, it’s an affliction that needs to be assuaged at the same time it is embraced.

Many of us who have publicly identified ourselves with the subculture have been contacted by seekers wondering if we have been “turned” or if we would be willing to “turn” them. Naturally we know turning is the stuff of overheated fiction. What we need to keep in mind is that a seeker may be completely sincere in approaching us, in feeling somehow out of step with the world. They simply may not know of any other way to put what they are asking. In every instance when a seeker reaches out to us there may be a true living vampire. It’s always been my policy to at least find out the depth of interest before writing anyone off as delusional or a role player–and in most cases, I’ve found it worth my time. It would be a great development if the subculture had the patience to give seekers a chance, even if they ask about turning. We were all novices once…right?



Speaking of, there’s plenty of room for improvement in how we treat each other. I’ve been part of many discussions on the subject, and the only conclusion I’ve reached is that there’s no ready solution. A lot of vampires don’t want any part of a social convention or code of politesse. As I also understand that the living vampire inherently defies rules and regulations (that is, those impressed upon them–there’s always the hope of common sense and courtesy) I can’t in good conscience disagree. How to have etiquette without anyone feeling bound by etiquette? It’s something to consider.

Something I’ve always believed but apparently isn’t universally accepted is that living vampires are equals. I see it as a means of survival. After all, we’re one subculture in a world that, in a sense, is not ours. We have far more in common than we have separating us. Speaking as the former head of a vampire order and the impetus of several other subculture enterprises, I think we are exiting the age of houses, orders, and formal groups. The nature of the living vampire cannot be contained. We can have unions of individuals, but hierarchies will only serve those who somehow find themselves on top. I honestly mean no offense to “leaders” of the subculture. I also know that those who have become movers in the subculture through work, patience, service, sacrifice, generosity of spirit, and dedication will understand what I mean.

Another area in which I’m qualified to comment is the living vampire subculture as it exists in the physical world. There have been attempts at determining just how many living vampires exist. From what I’ve read, the number of living vampires in the world is many times greater than what is represented in the online community. Considering the living vampires I know in my own area and how few of us are active online, I’d have to agree with this assessment. How reflective of the physical living vampire culture, then, is the online community? It’s much easier to argue endlessly with someone who (in many cases) is nothing but electrical impulses on a computer screen. It takes less courage to sling gossip and slander and insult in the relative anonymity of the online world. To this end, the online community would benefit from more face-to-face encounters with living vampires in the real world. When the flesh is made real, the emotions may follow.

My last point addresses a personal mission of mine, one that many real vampires may feel no obligation to entertain. None of us live in a vacuum. Like it or not, we share the planet with other people, and most of those people hold very different views. In a perfect world, people would understand what’s printed about our subculture as a cross section of a population with endless variety and variations. The problem is that much of what has been presented is fundamentally misleading. It won’t hoodwink long time vampires who know what’s going on, but it might very well have a biased sway over the general reading population–and worse, over the readily-influenced “new to vampirism” crowd. If we’re going to co-exist, we need to tell the straight facts about living vampirism. We shouldn’t get bogged down in ridiculous metaphysical prose. To exist in peace with

the mainstream, we need to write for the mainstream.”

Em's Official Samhain 2016 Guide

Our modern Halloween is derived from the "ancient" Samhain, the Celtic new year.

The past few years I've posted what is a standard Samhain Blessing for me and mine--it might seem a tad early, but again there is no wrong time to look at our blessings. This year I'm adding Through The Veil, which is a brief telling of passing through the veil between worlds that is said to be at its thinnest at Samhain.

A SAMHAIN BLESSING

May the ancestors deliver blessings on you and yours...

May the new year bear great fruits for you...

May your granted wishes be as many as the seeds in a pomegranate...

May the slide into darkness bring you light...

May the memories of what has been keep you strong for what is to be...

May this Samhain cleanse your heart, your soul, and your mind!

BLACK BIRD

No matter how I've tried to shake him off, he still comes after me with the ferocity of a hunting carnivore--not the cunning of a carrion feeder. I close my eyes and I see the black bird, the same black bird who has been with me for all of this life and perhaps in other lives as well. For some reason I wanted to shake the bird but he's only come back thirteen times as powerful.

I realize now that I cannot run from my heritage--from the blood of my ancestors which now flows through me--and that the black bird, the Great Raven, will always seek me out no matter where I am.

My question to myself now is do I want to embrace him as forcefully as I have done before, do I want to have done with him and pursue my new existence, or can I possibly keep the Great Raven in my heart and continue to move forward?

I will ponder with care.

THROUGH THE VEIL

The Veil floats before me, just as it has always done and as I expect it will continue to do. It’s no mystery yet it remains always an enigma, a puzzle to be explored and understood. What can I do but drift towards the Veil, moving without will and pulled without resistance.

There it is, the Veil, and I feel the icy tendrils of Death pierce my flesh and seize my soul. But there is not a touch of fear or of doubt, for I have come into this embrace before. I have experienced death as a revolving door, an unending portal to rebirth and renewal. Living weight drops from me, hesitant as if threatening to escape me completely and leave me beyond the Veil. The pain resounds in me so hot and fierce that it is not what I could normally call pain at all.

And then in an instant, when all seems to have fallen away to leave me for dead, the living energy comes rushing in like a frozen mountain’s stream taking new heart in a Spring thaw. I am reborn and renamed, enabled by a new knowledge and a new strength.

Such I am as I pass back through the Veil into the world like an infant sage, ready to embrace the universe again.

Remember those who have gone before you but who will never be forgotten.  May you all shine on and be well!

And The Universe Went HA!

Sometimes in the evenings, when the neighborhood kids have been slipped their sedatives and gone indoors and the fuzz popping irritation of traffic seems like the crest of a distant nightmare, I go outside to listen to the Universe. Some people might call this God, but I figure by definition Universe pretty much encompasses all the possibilities.Anyway, I listen, and it speaks. Not a voices in my head kind of speaking, but more of a gentle but all-pervasive reminder that my life as a being infused and gifted with a relationship to the Universe is actually what's most important to me.

Occasionally I can hear the Universe laughing at me. This happens when I have blithely ignored sign after sign of trouble ahead, only to learn a lesson the hard and sometimes painful way. You see, the Universe warns me when I'm about to do something especially stupid. The problem is getting my primate brain to recognize the warnings for what they are.

I get especially disquieted when I see that the Universe has saved me from what may have been a disaster, a situation where the signs have been abundantly clear. For instance, I'm writing this from the security of a metaphorical palm that swooped down and carried me out of what could possibly been a mistake at best and a life-bending horror at the worst. This time at least, I'm seeing the signs, and I'm interpreting them in a way I feel is metaphysically correct.

At least in my experience, the Universe doesn't discriminate. Whatever your belief system or non-belief system, the Universe is the Universe, and it will warn you and guide you if you keep open to the signs. And when the Universe suggests something might not be the best of ideas, think about it. Maybe it's not what you want, but it might be what you need.

The Story That Will Not Go Away

This is the story that will not go away.

Now that I’m living in Philadelphia, now that I’ve made myself a fixture of my community, people still are curious about the odyssey that took me to Florida for eight years. Specifically, I get asked time and again about the infamous 2000 presidential election and the part I played in it. I suppose it’s one thing to have read the news and quite another to have lived through the news—to have made the news.

Well, all right then. For everybody who’s wanted to know my version for whatever reason, here it goes. If you don't particularly care for my politics, you might at least appreciate the importance of your vote--and that transcends parties and philosophies.

In 2000 I was living in Saint Cloud, Florida—a little place I affectionately called Cowgirl Helltown (no joke—my neighbors were cows). Saint Cloud is in Osceola County, just south of Orlando, and wasn’t one of the counties of contention in the election. Heck, I think Al Gore swept the county by more than 75%, I’m not sure.

Also at the time I was married to someone about as politically passionate as I was. We’d done a great deal of research on the Green Party, and when we moved from Orlando to Saint Cloud we’d also changed our voter registration from Independent to Green. Now I should point out that we did not own a television. We were hooked up to the Internet to our eyeballs, but otherwise we got our news from the radio and from print media. I should also point out that the Clinton years had been very kind to us.

Now somewhere in the summer of 2000 the idea of “Greens for Gore” took shape and started to gain momentum, especially in the greater Orlando area. Unfortunately the idea was not so much support for Al Gore as it was a desperate attempt to keep #43 out of the White House—he who talked about these great 52 United States and the use of subliminable messages. I mean it was unrestrained panic that the Fortunate Son might carry the election.

Let me mention that I have met Al Gore. It was in June of 1993, when he was Vice President, and I was working at Independence National Historical Park. He did a photo op with the park rangers, and since we all were working for Club Fed, we were presumed safe. I remember two things. He was nowhere nearly as wooden as one might think. I also actually got him to laugh at some joke I don’t remember.

Fast forward to Election Day 2000. We were nervous wrecks. We knew damn well what was on the line. We also knew that Gore wasn’t going into the election with an overwhelming majority. A second Bush presidency was a very real threat, no matter how many months we’d spent trying to wake people up. My husband and I got to our polling place early, gritting our teeth as we stood in line under a cloud of doom. Most of Osceola County had the same idea and the place was packed.

This is where the great joke that was the Florida election system comes into play.

When we’d lived in Tallahassee, the voting booth was automated. Winter Park had actually used computers. Not so Osceola. We were handed actual paper ballots along with a push pin, of all things. All we had to do is make a hole next to the name of the candidate we were selecting. This was my first fit of the day, but this slipshod method wasn’t the fault of the people working the polls, so I tried to let it slide.

Traditionally in an election with write-in spaces, the election committee provides some kind of writing implement (in this case the voting booth was very much like an elementary school desk with afterthought blinders to protect our privacy). I had been planning on quite a few write-ins, so you can imagine how livid I was that nothing had been provided. All right, now I made a big fuss, not just for me but for everybody else. Were we having our freedom to write in candidates taken from us?

The so-called election officials—cronies of somebody or other—didn’t give a damn, but the body of voters in the room and outside heard me and applauded my outburst. Well, applause is nice, but all I really wanted was a damn pencil!

Much later on, after a nerve-wracking day, we heard that #43 was the projected winner. We headed out to hang with the cows and try to come to grips with this disaster in our minds. But when we got home, suddenly the election was in contention, and it was our state that had done it. Having lived through the half-assed attempt at polling that we had that morning, it was no surprise.

We all know what happened then, so I won’t belabor the painful. But here are some quips from the time I found both amusing and disturbing.

"THOSE WHO CAST THE VOTES DECIDE NOTHING. THOSE WHO COUNT
THE VOTES DECIDE EVERYTHING." -- JOSEPH STALIN

DON'T BLAME ME - I VOTED FOR GORE... I THINK

MY PARENTS RETIRED TO FLORIDA AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY PRESIDENT

DISNEY GAVE US MICKEY, FLORIDA GAVE US DUMBO

DON'T THROW AWAY YOUR VOTE... LET KATHERINE HARRIS DO IT FOR YOU

BUSH TRUSTS THE PEOPLE, BUT NOT IF IT INVOLVES COUNTING

TO YOU I'M A DRUNK DRIVER; TO MY FRIENDS, I'M PRESIDENTIAL MATERIAL!

ONE PERSON, ONE VOTE (MAY NOT APPLY IN CERTAIN STATES)

I DIDN'T VOTE FOR HIS DADDY EITHER

IT AIN'T OVER 'TIL YOUR BROTHER COUNTS THE VOTES

BANANA REPUBLICANS

GEORGE W. BUSH: THE PRESIDENT QUAYLE WE NEVER HAD

THE LAST TIME SOMEBODY LISTENED TO A BUSH, FOLKS WANDERED IN THE DESERT FOR 40 YEARS

CAMPAIGN SPENDING: $184,000,000. HAVING YOUR LITTLE BROTHER RIG THE ELECTION FOR YOU: PRICELESS

I ask you...this year, for this election, please take your civic duty seriously. Read up on the candidates and get your questions answered to your satisfaction. Don't leave your voice be unheard and your vote left in the hands of others.