And The Universe Went HA!

Sometimes in the evenings, when the neighborhood kids have been slipped their sedatives and gone indoors and the fuzz popping irritation of traffic seems like the crest of a distant nightmare, I go outside to listen to the Universe. Some people might call this God, but I figure by definition Universe pretty much encompasses all the possibilities.Anyway, I listen, and it speaks. Not a voices in my head kind of speaking, but more of a gentle but all-pervasive reminder that my life as a being infused and gifted with a relationship to the Universe is actually what's most important to me.

Occasionally I can hear the Universe laughing at me. This happens when I have blithely ignored sign after sign of trouble ahead, only to learn a lesson the hard and sometimes painful way. You see, the Universe warns me when I'm about to do something especially stupid. The problem is getting my primate brain to recognize the warnings for what they are.

I get especially disquieted when I see that the Universe has saved me from what may have been a disaster, a situation where the signs have been abundantly clear. For instance, I'm writing this from the security of a metaphorical palm that swooped down and carried me out of what could possibly been a mistake at best and a life-bending horror at the worst. This time at least, I'm seeing the signs, and I'm interpreting them in a way I feel is metaphysically correct.

At least in my experience, the Universe doesn't discriminate. Whatever your belief system or non-belief system, the Universe is the Universe, and it will warn you and guide you if you keep open to the signs. And when the Universe suggests something might not be the best of ideas, think about it. Maybe it's not what you want, but it might be what you need.

Random Crap

Here's some random stuff of the moment.

If you could come back as a dress, which one would it be?

Something either deathy and gothic or poppy red.

What is your favorite color?

Purple, violet, amethyst…you get the picture.

What is your favorite junk food?
Kettle chips.

What are you most vain about?

Nothing. I’m not vain even where I should be.

What are you most shy about?

Everything. How’s everything for an answer?

If you could have somebody else’s body, whose would it be?

Do you mean I would exist in said body or that the body would be mine to play with as I please?

If you could have somebody else’s breasts, whose would they be?

Uck.

Who are your fantasy dinner party guests?

There are so many. But assuming I am the hostess of a dinner party for twelve, I would select Coco Chanel, Charlemagne, Eleanor Roosevelt, Richard Feynman (physicist), Mary Robinson (former president of Ireland), Kurt Vonnegut, Sally Ride, John Young (also an accomplished astronaut), Zsuszanna Budapest (womens’ rights activist), His Holliness the Dalai Lama, Gloria Steinem, and Carl Sagan.

Where is your favorite place to have a drink?

Drink?  What am I--normal?

Whose wallet would you like to steal?

I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.

Whose diary would you most like to read?

Hilary Rodham Clinton’s.

What’s your least favorite food?

Tomatoes, mayonnaise, and organ meat .

If you were an inventor, what would you invent?

I’d invent something that would do all of my dressing and grooming for me.

What is your favorite car?

My long-gone garnet '91 Pontiac Sunbird.

When and where are you happiest?

I’m happiest in those wonderful moments at night when I’m relaxing in a scented bath with the day behind me and the comfort of sleep awaiting me.

What or who is your worst enemy?

I am my own worst enemy along with my evil sidekick Doubt.

What piece of art would you most like to own?

“Mary Magdalene” by Gustav Adolf Mossa.

Where is your favorite vacation spot?

These days, it's my garden in my backyard.

What is your most treasured possession?

I have the fang of a rattlesnake my shaman mentor gave to me as a rite of passage.

Who is your favorite fictional character?

Myself.

If you weren’t a writer, what would you be?

A mortician, an aerialist, a lawyer…who knows?

What current trend would you like to see disappear?

I want to see anything extolling extreme thinness as some kind of virtue disappear.

Always…?

Always remember things can always get worse.

Never…?

Never doubt that things can get better.

My Grandfather's Legacy (1920-2003)

There is no greater gift than a gift that shapes the good character of a child. My grandfather was most generous in his giving and with his gifts.

If I know honesty, it’s because he showed me the value of the truth and of being forthright.

If I know tenacity, it’s because I watched him begin so many projects and never quitting until the task at hand was done.

If I know craftsmanship, it’s because he was able to bring his creations from a blueprint in his mind into a tangible reality.

If I know stability, it’s because he never left me down, never left me alone, and never left me feeling friendless.

If I know loyalty, it’s because he always put his family ahead of anything else.

If I know unselfishness, it’s because he taught me to be open-handed.

If I know love, it’s because he encouraged me to bloom.

Take the gifts. Cherish them. Share them.