Saturday, October 15, 2016

The Famous Are People Too

Is there some celebrity/star/famous person you’re wanting to shout a friendly hello to, even though you realize the chances of this person ever reading what you say are as good as fan mail getting past an agent? I have a method, and it’s worked for me many times. I warn you that it will require time and effort on your part, not to mention a genuine fondness for this person’s work. But to a true fan, it’s worth the effort. You can be e-mail pals with your idol, your crush—how cool is that?

You start by creating a website for yourself. Any one of the free website services is fine if you don’t have the time or money to devote to a web server. A full site with details and interesting features is the best choice, but it’s not the right choice for everyone. A single page can do just as well. You can make it about yourself, but it’s better to discuss your interests, your hometown, your passions—make yourself fully dimensional.

For example, my first (and successful!) attempt came from my first website, Ceridwyn’s Cauldron, in 1996, which was basically about creativity and inspiration. I found an individual I’d been following since high school, and found that he too was building a personal website. So I thought to myself hey, this guy has been my inspiration. Inspiration was the common point of contact.

Great, so what next? At the time, the first generation of webmasters created and shared various “awards” with each other for excellence in features like easy navigation, content, graphics, educational value, and so much more. We were lifting each other through the dawn of this digital age. As my website was about inspiration and my famous person WAS my inspiration, I created the “Ceridwyn’s Cauldron Inspiration Award for Reaching Out to Fans Online” complete with award graphic and explanation of why this website had gotten the nod. I thought, well, no harm, no foul.

Almost 20 years later I’m still e-mail/chat buddies with this person, who was so thrilled that someone…ANYONE…had recognized what he was trying to do that he had immediately written me back to thank me. And our friendship grew out of that.

What does this mean for you? Follow these steps:

Create a personal website. It does not necessarily have to be a fan site.

Think about what you really admire about this person. Hot bods are not the best choice. Go for something deeper, more meaningful.

Create an award based on your website. It doesn’t have to be anything complex, although the more effort you put in, the more likely you’ll get results.

Find out how to contact this person online. This is the hard part, since there are often so many e-mail addresses are floating around with no hint as to what might actually work. Hit them all, if you want. Sooner or later someone might be kind enough to point you in the right direction.

Were you nice? Polite? In adequate fandom? Hit send and wait for the fun!

Now let’s be clear I’m making no promises. I’m just sharing what’s worked for me. If you give it a try, it might work for you. And maybe you’ll be talking about how you made friends with the famous through online communication. Good luck!   

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Scarriemonster's "Ancient" History

I've been at this online thing long enough to have chronicled a good part of my adult life.  In this case, I apparently have a Live Journal that goes waaaaaaay back to 2001.  Shit disturbing is putting it mildly.  Anyway, in the interest of full disclosure, I present the time warp link.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

My September 11, 2001 Journal Entry

I remember the many times I would lay on one of the benches in the plaza of the World Trade Center. Tower 1 was completed in 1970, and Tower 2 in 1973--hence, the rising, dominating figures of the Manhattan skyline are roughly as old as I am. Since I was a little girl, the towers held a fascination for me. Every time I went to New York, I would go and gaze up in awe at the towers and marvel at humanity's ability to create.

Today I wept at humanity's ability to destroy.

Every time I climbed to the top of Tower 1, I loved to go to the panorama windows. I leaned forward as far as the guardrail would allow me, looking down, looking up, in flight over this magnificent city. Of course, standing on the ground up against the building and looking up its length was quite an experience as well.

There's so much more tied into this disaster, I know. But in the midst of it all, I have to collect my own thoughts and center on that part that, somehow, I could deal with and I could grasp. There was an esprit de vie about those towers, and it's hard to believe it's gone forever.

And I think of the people, of the 200+ firefighters and about 80 policemen who lost their lives. I think of the 70,000+ people who worked within the World Trade Center Complex. I think of the passengers of the commercial jets which were turned into bombs.

And I think, is this a one-time event, or is this only the beginning of something more?

My mother launched into a passionate rant against my estranged husband. "He didn't call you. He couldn't even call you. How the hell could he not call you? See how you are? You were just as likely as anybody to be there this morning. How can he care so little?"

Well, I understood her rant, but I wasn't upset by the cause of it. After all, on this day I was surrounded by the people who mean the most to me, and I to them. Who can ask for more?

In closing, I would like to offer a Brujeria prayer, one that we used in the neighborhood vigil we arranged this evening.

From the skies descended
In triumph and splendor
Guadelupe, favor your children with peace
White flowers, red roses
You appeared to us
Once and for always
Favor your children, oh Guadelupe
Oh favor us, you children, with peace

On that note, go in peace, and be well.

Feasting Medieval Style

To recreate an entire Medieval feast would probably require more room, time, and patience than you have. However, it is simple enough to get a taste of the Middle Ages at your own dining table. The following recipes are straightforward, and only barely adapted for the modern kitchen.

You will be making pork pea soup and honey mead. At an actual Medieval feast, you would serve the soup in a trencher, a bowl made of carved-out bread. You would be given a spoon, but you would need to bring your own knife to the table. Forks were still science fiction.

Amounts are given Medieval-style--that is, spice and add to taste. For the soup, you will want to make certain you add three cups of liquid (chicken broth) for every one cup of split peas you use.

PORK PEA SOUP

Ingredients:

A generous portion of Canadian bacon (the closest thing we have to what a Medieval chef would have used), sliced
Dried, split green peas
Chicken broth (see above note)
One head of garlic, cloved and chopped (yes, use the WHOLE head)
Sliced carrots
One onion, diced
Bay leaves
Honey to taste


PREPARATION:
Begin with the chicken broth. Bring it to a slow boil in a large pot. Gradually add the bacon, garlic, bay leaves, onions, and carrots to flavor the broth. When this has come to a boil, stir in the peas. Leave this all to simmer for 2-3 hours, or until the peas have broken down into a paste. Add honey and serve hot.

HONEY MEAD

Ingredients:
1 quart of spring water
1 cup honey
1 sliced lemon
Nutmeg
Pinch of salt
Juice of 1/2 lemon


PREPARATION:
Boil the first four ingredients together, preferably in a non-metallic pot. Scrape off the scum which rises to the top with a wooden spoon. When there is no more scum rising, add the salt and the lemon juice. Strain the mead, and let it cool before serving.

NOTE: This is non-alcoholic mead.

What Is Romance?

If humanity has had a story to tell, it has been about this peculiar entity called love. From the earliest writings of Sumerian love poems and the Song of Solomon to the latest best sellers, we have been captivated and stimulated by tales of love and passion.

Well...maybe not all of us.

Let's consider the lords of the early Middle Ages. These were burly men of battle. When not actually fighting, they wanted to hear tales of battle, they wanted to enjoy the laudations of brute force. The famous Chanson de Roland has its origins in such settings. A wandering poet needs shelter for the night, and to gain shelter, he must please the lord with a tale. The poet then spins a tale of warriors.

This was great...if you were into that sort of thing. But what of those individuals who preferred something softer?

Enter the troubadours and trouveres of the 11th-13th centuries, and the birth of courtly love. Now the lords were away on the Crusades and other wars. Their wives and ladies were left behind to tend the castle and lay the foundations of Western literature. After enduring countless tales of blood and gore, the women welcomed stories which were a bit more evocative, a bit more imaginative, a bit more...romantic.

Since the poets now had to please a new audience, they changed the nature of their tales. Yes, there were love tales, but these tales included much more than a simply love story. There were supernatural elements, magic rings and cloaks to render the wearer invisible. There were love potions and guises and mistaken identities. Through it all, the listener was asked to feel, to emote. These were not one-dimensional characters anymore, but characters into whom life had been breathed.

And so was Western romance born.

The Apology Genre

I got into an argument with the proprietor of a local used book shop the other day. My roommate and I went poking around for old romance novels--those of the bodice-ripper days. We found none. Thinking this was strange, I found the owner and asked where he was keeping them.

She shriveled her lips at me. "I don't carry those books," she sneered.

"Really." I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. "Practicing censorship?"

"Not at all. I just don't read that kind of book."

"Tell me, have you ever read a romance novel?"

"Absolutely not!"

Aha. A literary bigot. They do exist. "It seems silly to me to exclude an entire genre of reading based on what may not be an accurate impression of the genre."

She shrugged. "I don't need to read them. I know what they're all about."

That's the kind of attitude which has gotten books burned on bonfires. It's also gotten people burned at the stake.

I won't go into the gory details of my ensuing dispute with the woman, save to say she displayed a bias against the genre of love which I have found to be alive and well all over. That's bad enough. What makes it worse is the apologetic attitude romance fans then think they need assume. I've seen them in B. Dalton's, I've seen them in Barnes and Noble. They approach the check-out counter with timidity in their eyes. I've seen them on the bus, hiding their books behind purses or newspapers. I've read and heard their academic credentials, as they somehow think this lends validity to their reading selections.

Let me tell you something. I read romance. I read lots of other things, too. The only justification I need is that I enjoy it. I enjoy the transport. That's why I read fiction. Know what? I've never encountered any leery stares or looks of disapproval. I've never been put down by friends and colleagues who detest the genre, simply because they know the me that does the reading. I've also never given anyone any reason for grief (save the woman at the bookstore, but I saw that more as a philosophical issue) by trying to defend my selection of reading material.

Love it or hate it, the romance genre is here to stay. It has been around for as long as man has written. Fiction is preference--it is subjective. It is meant to be enjoyed, not debated in such ways.

There are two sides to this issue: the fans and the foes. To both sides I say, lighten up.

If blind dismissal of an entire genre seems bad, try rattling off an "impressive" (to the foolish, maybe) list of academic and professional credentials as proof of not being the typical romance-reading housewife, sitting home all day with snack cakes in one hand and a novel in the other. The genre can't be justified by the credentials of its fans, and credentials alone do not justify the romance reader.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Delicious and Disturbing

DELICIOUS AND DISTURBING

Welcome to the Mouseloaf Cabal, an Erisian Discordian Disorganization. As has been said, are we an elaborate scam disguised as a religion, or a religion disguised as an elaborate scam?

Who's Eris? Who's Discordia? And what can you do with them?

What the hell is Mouseloaf?

Who are you people and how did you get into this mess?

Is Mouseloaf anything like meatloaf?

Where can I find a cabal for meatloaf?

Are you threatening to eat me?

What's this going to cost me?

There's a chance you will find the answers to all your questions...then again, maybe you'd prefer to guess. It's all good.

Never fear, there's probably more stuff on the way, but we'd be untrue to our nature if we had any idea what that stuff will be or when that stuff will appear.


A BRIEF HISTORY OF MOUSELOAF

How does a successful, self-made businessman like Uncle Louie get started? According to Louie, it all starts with having a dream.

"My papa, he says to me," quoth Louie, "'Hey, Louie, you want you should know something? No one ever went hungry eating rodents.' So that was the point when I thought, 'I must make rodents tasty and convenient, so that every mouth on the planet might be fed mousey goodness."

And thus was MOUSELOAF born.

"There are companies out there who try and pass off processed Mouseloaf as the genuine article, but it just ain't so," Louie points out. "Those Slice O' Mice fiends, for instance. But they're missing the most essential point; Mouseloaf is best made at home, with freshy caught mice. There is simply no alternative to that homemade goodness which is worthwhile."

The Mouseloaf Corporation, therefore, does not produce Mouseloaves. Rather, Uncle Louie is responsible for the following, world-famous recipe, which has started what Spank magazine has called the "Mouseloaf Kulture".

Recipe For Mouseloaf

Catch yourself one hundred mice. Put one aside for aesthetics.
Bathe remaining ninety-nine mice in depilatory cream. This step can be omitted if you like fur in your Mouseloaf.
Throw micies into meat grinder.
Add spices of your choosing (Uncle Louis reccomends a Szechuan Mouseloaf, with ginger, or even a Cajun Mouseloaf, with file powder, cayenne and thyme. Standard American Mouseloaf generally includes pepper, nutmeg and cinnamon).
Take mouse meat and mold it into THE ORIGINAL MOUSELOAF PAN (see information and ordering instructions at the bottom).
Take the mouse you reserved in step one and insert it headfirst into the end of the loaf, so that its hind quarters and tail are sticking out of the loaf. THE ORIGINAL MOUSELOAF PAN is constructed to allow you to do this easily.
Bake.
Eat.

THE ORIGINAL MOUSELOAF PAN
A special cyber-offer from Uncle Louie

According to Uncle Louie, "Unless you manage to fit in that extra mouse at the end, it just isn't a Mouseloaf."

Realizing that conventional cookware just wasn't suiting his needs, Uncle Louie wandered out into his garage and invented THE ORIGINAL MOUSELOAF PAN. This special pan, with a hinged panel designed to accomodate the decorative hundreth mouse, is fully responsible for Mouseloaf being the highly valued aesthetic masterpiece it is today.

Now YOU, TOO can own a complete set of Mouseloaf cookware, to suit all your Mouseloaf needs. For the coronary-causing low, low, low (cheap is the point we're trying to get across here) price of $19.99, you will receive five Mouseloaf pans, ranging from the three-gallon loaf to the mini-loaf for cocktail parties.

Mouseloaf...anything else is just food.


THE DOW OF MOUSELOAF

In which Queen Pepsishark IX and the Magnificent Gookoo encounter the goddess Eris, lately also called Discordia, and learn that in a universe of milk and chaos, only Mouseloaf remains true…

Pepsishark once thought that if there were an operative principle in the universe, it would be milk. Gookoo thought Pepsishark was a little eccentric, but then again she didn’t have any better ideas. Since Gookoo believed that people who didn’t have any better ideas should just shut up, that’s what she did.

Mouseloaf is perhaps the most remarkable substance known to humanity and in the universe itself. Being a food, a building material, a toy, a cultural rallying point, a political pawn, and an engineering phenomenon, Mouseloaf is an astounding success, considering its origins as a use for dead mousies. Mouseloaf—or what has been called Mausloaf Kultur—began in the Paramus, NJ kitchen of a man known only as Unca Louie. His idea for the something that could be anything has conquered the world. Two competitors, Slice O’ Mice and Mooseloaf, have tried to capitalize on Mouseloaf mania but failed so miserably that the Society of Suicidal Lemmings was formed from dismissed employees.

As far as Pepsishark and Gookoo knew, Unca Louie bumped into Eris just before putting Mouseloaf onto those first few lucky shelves. Eris showed Louie Chaos and the Holy Chao, and in seeing Chaos and the Holy Chao, Louie figured there would pretty much be room in the universe for anything, including loaves of mice. Eris was much pleased with Mouseloaf and granted Unca Louie a stick of cinnamon gum and the title Swell Pepsishark I.

Now Pepsishark IX was Unca Louie’s direct descendant in the Mouseloaf Empire. What happened to Pepsishark II through VIII is either unknown or unimportant. At her side went the faithful Magnificent Gookoo.

“I lament,” Gookoo said.

“You lament what, exactly?” replied Pepsishark.

“I lament that in a universe swimming in Chaos, order seems irrelevant.”

“Irrelevant?” Pepsishark tweaked Gookoo’s nose. “Don’t be a silly. Order is a defining instrument of Chaos. Order is what makes Chaos. Without order, Chaos would be nothing but Mouseloaf.”

“Mouseloaf?”

“A loaf of mouse.”

“Oh.”

Pepsishark and Gookoo jumped the fence and played a round of mini golf in the snow. It was an exercise in futility. After all, as it was Winter, the golf course was technically closed. No one was around to care if Pepsishark and Gookoo just dropped their golf balls into the holes and attain terrific scores. There was no one to reward their great talent with goldfish or stuffed dogs drinking beer.

Then in the parking lot, they happened upon an apple fashioned of gold. Let us point out that this is not a regular occurrence in our corner of the universe. Anyway, on the apple were the words “For the fairest”.

“That wouldn’t be me,” Gookoo said.

“Me neither. So what do we do with it?”

“Dunno.” Gookoo kicked at a patch of ice. “Sell it?”

“It’s probably just gold-plated,” Pepsishark said.

“You have a remarkable talent for spotting the valueless.” Gookoo took a step towards the apple oddity. “I like Red Delicious myself.”

Here ends the Dow of Mouseloaf as it has been revealed thus far. You could go back to the beginning and read it again, since beginning and ending are arbitrary anyway.

Searching for a Cathar Feminism 1100-1300

NOTE: This was one of several semester project papers I wrote in the Spring Semester of 1994 as a graduate student at Florida State University. Unfortunately, the original citations are long gone.

Medieval Europe was not ruled by political power. Political states did not yet exist, and power was spread thinly among many nobles all over Europe. The only absolute authority to endure throughout the Medieval period was the universal, or Catholic, Christian doctrine. The Catholic church filled the vacuum left by the collapsed Roman Empire. Though church authority remained decentralized until the eleventh century, it remained highly effective in bishoprics at the local level. Consequently, Medieval life and religion were inextricably connected, as the only authority for the society was the church. God and demons, saints and miracles were not simply something to be believed in; to the Medieval people, they were an integral part of reality.

It follows then that heresy, or a deviation from the prescribed doctrine of the Catholic church, was indeed perceived as the greatest of threats to humanity. That a great divinity had invested its power in the Catholic church on earth was not questioned; for a sect to reject that god- sent doctrine was the greatest of catastrophes. Though the doctrine of the Cathars does not appear remarkably different on the surface from the Catholic model, it was nonetheless condemned as a heresy.

The Cathars were often called Albigensians in the thirteenth century, being especially numerous in the region of the French town of Albi. Yet they were an old and well- established group long before coming to Albi. The name Cathar expresses their most basic and enduring of beliefs. The Cathari were the "pure ones", those who had broken their ties to evil, material things as much as possible. It is best to describe them by the name which symbolizes their rejection of the material world and its hierarchy.

This inquiry is primarily concerned with those aspects of Cathar doctrine which conflicted with orthodox Christianity. The relative positions of women living under both systems in the area of southwestern France, called Occitania1 from the twelfth to the fourteenth centuries will be examined. The issue to be resolved is whether there existed a marked difference in the status of Cathar women. Was there a kind of "Cathar feminism"? If so, to what extent did it exist in theory or practice?

A specific, working definition of feminism is necessary for this evaluation. "Feminism" here is meant primarily to denote a certain level of empowerment and/or respect for women above and beyond the social norm. This includes decision making on a woman's behalf for herself, freedom in lifestyle choices, and a situation approaching equality between the sexes. Instances where any of these conditions have been met help to substantiate the existence of an Cathar feminism, if not by modern standards of equal rights and liberation, in comparison with orthodox Christian society. This study is a search for such instances.

It should be mentioned that most sources available on this period, and on the Middle Ages in general, deal exclusively with the upper classes and the clerics. A simple explanation; these were the people with the power, influence, and, most significantly, the literacy. Peasants neither had the leisure time to learn to read and write, nor could they afford to pay a scribe to write for them. The best and most extensive records come from and document minority of the population. Consequently, this silent common population will not be included in this study. This affects the presentation of orthodox feudal society much more than the Cathar, for the great majority of Cathars were nobles themselves. However, there is a limited scope in feudal Catholicism to be used to adequately represent the feudal society as a whole.

The Catholic philosophy concerning women in the Middle Ages was at best unfavorable, and almost entirely the product of the early church fathers. Such a bias doomed Medieval woman to be relegated to the lower ranks of humanity, as "the Christian writings were the ones that continued to exert the most direct and vital influence on the atmosphere in which Europeans lived and worked throughout the Middle Ages, for the Bible and the Church Fathers were still regarded as having spiritual and practical authority in the fifteenth century and beyond." Selected teachings of Saint Paul on the subject of women became important Christian doctrines. Paul wrote that women must me subordinated in the home and mute in the churches. He permitted no woman to teach, or have authority over men, "For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was the transgressor". According to Saint Augustine, woman was the root of all evil, and as such must be necessarily suppressed.

Many later theologians and preachers maintained that the fact that God had created woman from man's rib rather than from some lower member, like a foot, proved that God intended her to be man's equal. But the ascetic tendencies of Christianity impelled the church to consider woman the original source of sin and a weak vessel peculiarly liable to vice. Her mere existence tempted good men to sins of the flesh, and her inclinations to provocative behavior increased the menace. Moreover, the actual position of woman in contemporary society was bound to influence the ideas of ecclesiastical writers. Thomas Aquinas held that she was ordained to be completely subject to man. "As man stands to God, so stands woman to man".

Men of the Middle Ages had no doubt that all traits were inherited, and that "a good soldier must come from the blood of good soldiers". From the time of the early Germanic codes down through the entire Medieval period, the adultery committed by a wife with a social inferior was a particularly heinous offense. Yet even when the offense was committed with a nobleman of like class, the biological theories of the day held small hope for the offspring of adulterous unions. A child was produced from the merging blood of father and mother; a child of adultery would come from mixed and confused blood and become a man unfit to inherit. This strengthened the inclination on the part of nobles to demand virgin brides, and feudal law insisted on the chastity of wives and young girls.

The social order followed the example of the church in placing restrictions on women's sexuality. If a husband suspected his wife of infidelity, he could kill both her and her lover after issuing a warning. If a father considered anyone to be a menace to the chastity of his daughter, the father could forbid him to approach her, and slay the offender if he violated the prohibition.

It could be surmised that the conditions which governed the lives of the orthodox feudal class forced women to occupy a low place in society. The supreme function of a man was war, and women could not fight. Although the attitude of feudal law towards women had improved considerably by the twelfth century, they were never accorded many rights. Daughters could inherit a fief when there were no sons, but their control of the fief was greatly restricted by male relatives. A woman was never her own mistress, and could exercise her inherited privileges only through her husband or guardian. Before marriage, she existed as the property of her father, to later be turned over to her husband. A woman could not sue in court except through the male in whose charge she was at the time. In short, a woman was always a minor in the tutelage of some male.

A wife bore sons while a mistress satisfied momentary lusts. Concubinage was by no means condoned by the church; however, the church lacked the power to enforce its doctrine. This is one example of the great double standard that existed between men and women. While the woman was expected to be chaste and faithful, her husband had no such obligations. This is made clear by the tremendous numbers of illegitimate births each year. The imposing number of bastards mentioned in the documents of the period shows how thoroughly the nobles appreciated their mistresses. "The noble chose his wife because of her family connections, her dowry, and her ability to bear sons. Beauty, charm and compatibility rarely entered into the matter". As a result, the nobleman was inclined to satisfy his lust where he found the process most pleasant.

Such conditions, of course, varied from region to region. In Occitania, no feudal lord had overriding influence in ecclesiastical appointments, nor was any court active enough to serve as a training ground for bishops. The bishops therefore represented either the interests of a small region or the triumph of one local faction over another. Unable to cooperate effectively, the bishops did not consider the common welfare of Occitania or of Christendom. The papacy, aware of this weakness in the hierarchy of the universal church, had much bigger problems to contend with in the twelfth century.

The lack of ecclesiastical organization in Occitania fostered a slightly deviant society, which in turn contributed greatly to the evolution of the Cathar heresy. But what made the movement so successful was the willingness of the local people to accept Catharism. "The people of Occitania had lost much of their zeal, much of their devotion to the faith". Only a minority ever became Cathars, yet the Catholic majority seemed unconcerned about the heretical threat. The majority never expressed an aversion to the Cathars who were trying to subvert the fundamental institution of the society.

General concepts of Catharism originated in the dualist philosophies of pre-Christian Zoroastrianism and third- century Common Era Manicheanism. Essentially, dualist doctrine advocates the existence of two divine figures. One divinity is good, the god of light and the spiritual world, while the other indulges in evil, the god of darkness and the material world. These two bipolar powers were in constant conflict, which would eventually be resolved in favor of the god of light.

While Catharism was similar to the older dualist traditions, it developed independently, and was in no way a continuation. It was, by all standards, overwhelmingly more Catholic that Manichean or Zoroastrian. In Catharism, the gods of light and dark became the Christian God and Satan. The good God, the God of light, created only the spiritual world while Satan, the god of darkness, was responsible for the creation of the material world. Spirit was intrinsically good; matter was intrinsically evil. Similarly, the soul was good while the body remained evil. The human world served as a battleground between the forces of light and darkness, spirit and matter. Human life, then, freed the soul from the entanglement of the body so that it could enter the spiritual world of light after death.

As all material things had been created by Satan, the Cathar teaching claimed the perfect life was asceticism. Ideally, the Cathars needed to be absolutely celibate, to deny themselves all earthly things, and consume barely enough food and drink to sustain life. The problem of how this sect aspiring to such inhuman principles could survive was solved with the evolution of two classes of Cathars. The perfecti were bound to lead this ideal life of rigid asceticism, and constituted the priestly class. Through a ceremony called the consolamentum, the laying on of hands, a Cathar was inducted into the perfectus class. The ceremony not only eradicated any previous sins, but swore the Cathar to commit no more for the duration of their lives.

However, Catharism took human nature into consideration. It was recognized that a very few could ever become perfecti before their demise became imminent; simple Cathars were not made to feel guilty for their shortcoming. It is important to note that the high standards set for the perfecti were in no way intended to be met by average believers. This much larger group, the credentes or the true believers, were subjected to no restrictions of their lifestyle. Any vocation could be followed. Unlike orthodox Christianity, Catharism imposed no restrictions on eating or drinking. Most significantly, the codes of sexual morality were lax. The only crucial obligations for a Cathar were to renounce all allegiance to the orthodox church, and to undergo the consolamentum before death.

A Medieval Catholic would find surprisingly little in Cathar practice strange or offensive. He would hear verse after verse of familiar passages from the New Testament, repeat the Lord's Prayer, and ask for his sins to be forgiven. Much of what would be found in the Catholic Mass had been omitted, but very little contradiction was added. However, Catharism contradicted Catholicism on the most fundamental of tenets. Most sources on the Cathar beliefs come from the writings of their orthodox Christian enemies. Accordingly, the best-known features of the doctrine are those that directly opposed the teachings of the church. The one real hope of the Medieval people was the blessed life of those who would be called to salvation. Only the church could put men on the path to salvation. Only by believing those eternal "truths" taught in the church, only by receiving grace through the sacraments, could salvation be possible. Anyone who denied these "truths" and the church was therefore the greatest enemy of mankind, "a murderer who sought to kill the immortal soul rather than the earthly body".

The Cathars believed in reincarnation and repudiated the tenet of eternal damnation for sinners. A soul was obliged to live many lifetimes in a human body until it achieved salvation. If earthly bodies were evil, as the Cathars taught, then God could not become incarnate in a man. Therefore, according to the Cathars, the Christian Christ was not God, only an emissary of God; he became a man in appearance only. To the Cathars, the sacraments that the Catholic church claimed to confer divine grace through material elements such as water, bread and wine were inherently blasphemous. Marriage was also condemned, as it led to the production of children and so entrapped more spiritual souls in evil, material bodies.

This last item provides a good starting point for the exploration of a Cathar feminism. The condemnation of marriage was particularly obnoxious in the eyes of their orthodox opponents. Instead, the Cathars advocated a complete reversal of orthodox teaching. Catholicism championed that sex belonged only in marriage, and that sex in marriage must be for reproduction and without pleasure. While the Cathars thought childbearing a great sin, they did not object to sexual motivations other than reproduction. Coupling the indifference placed on performance in the material world with the belief that all bodily sins would be erased by the consolamentum before death, Cathar society virtually destroyed any orthodox restrictions on sexual conduct. It is interesting to note that the population of Occitania grew rapidly during the years of the Cathar expansion.

How this relative sexual liberation affected Cathar women varied from area to area. In the village of Montaillou, the philosophy of sex and marriage was summarized by Guillaume Belibaste, a Cathar holy man. He saw no purpose in adopting the Catholic theology which had governed sternly the institution of marriage. However, he realized that simple Cathar believers would never adopt the perfectus ideal of absolute chastity. "It amounts to the same, and the sin is the same, to know one's wife carnally or to do the same with a concubine. This being so, it is better for a man to attach himself to a definite woman".

Whether Cathar or Catholic, every married woman could expect a fair amount of beating. As the man possessed the initiative in the courtship, he later on claimed the right to violence. The reaction to Guillemette Clergue's black eye is indicative of the sort of behavior expected from husbands. Through some accident or infection, Guillemette had a bad eye, and was travelling to find a cure. On the way, she encountered the perfectus Prades Tavernier, who assumed she had been beaten. Later, in her testimony to Jacques Fournier, Guillemette admitted to keeping her rapport with Tavernier a secret from her husband for fear of abuse, perhaps even death.

Certain enlightened Cathars who had carefully studied the Bible advocated more humane treatment of women. But as far as the institution of marriage was concerned, civilization was misogynous. Pierre Authoe himself, despite his affection for his daughter, generally considered women as something base. Belibaste, who married and unmarried his mistress to Pierre Maury within a few days, never made a mystery of his male chauvinism and masculine imperialism. According to Belibaste, a woman's soul could not be allowed into paradise after her death, and would only achieve that glorious end after being reincarnated as a man.
One area in which Catharism differentiated sharply from orthodox Christianity was the opportunity offered to women in the hierarchy of the religion itself. An imperfect parallel can be drawn between orthodox monasticism and the perfecti. Both were committed to lives of celibacy and self-denial. Although certain monasteries allowed women to participate, and a few convents existed, women were generally relegated to lower, insignificant positions.

Women could, however, be accepted among the perfecti; it is widely speculated that this was the main appeal of Catharism for women. The perfecti were the ministers of the Cathar faith, wandering in pairs through the countryside to be with the credentes. Women and men worked together to gain converts to the faith and maintaining devotion. To be a perfecta gave a woman a higher status than she could ever attain in the Catholic church.

A connection that cannot be overlooked is the development of courtly love ideals in the area most permeated by Catharism. Some explanation of courtly love and its origins is a necessary contribution to this overall investigation. In Occitania, the noblewoman was subject to her husband, but was also mistress of her household. Servants performed their tasks and children received their training under her supervision. In the absence of the lord, the woman took control of both household and fief.

The ideas of courtly love first appeared in the lyric poetry composed by the troubadours of Southern France. In Occitania, many of these wandering minstrels were also Cathar. Speculatively, the Occitanian troubadour ideas of love and relations with women grew spontaneously out of the environment supplied by the region in the eleventh and twelfth centuries. A popular anecdote of the first troubadour poetry begins around 1150. A hungry minstrel, wandering around the duchy of Aquitaine, came to a castle where he hoped his tales of battles, broad stories and tumbling tricks would earn him a good dinner. Unfortunately, the lord was absent; the lady of the castle had become weary long before of boring tales of endless battles and masculine aggression. It occurred to the minstrel that if he composed a song in praise of the lady's beauty and virtue, whether or not she had either of these, and described the effect they had on him in glowing terms, he may be fed after all. The experiment must have been successful. Soon, the halls of Occitania were ringing with songs in praise of ladies who were able to dispense lavish hospitality. While the minstrels sang for a living, barons and knights indulged in the musical fad because it was pleasant and fashionable.

Courtly songs were inspired by a new conception of love. Love was the emotion produced by the unrestrained adoration of a lady. Love might be rewarded by smiles, kisses, or higher favors, but their presence or absence had no essential effect on love itself. All the benefits and torments which came to the lover grew out of simple worship of a worthy woman. This love would be inspired by the lady's good qualities, such as her beauty, wit, charm and character.

The effects of this love were not purely emotional and physical; it improved a man in every way. By developing the idea that a noble could not be a perfect knight unless he loved a woman the Cathar troubadours laid the foundation of courtly chivalry. Women were bound to enjoy a more elevated position in society, Although she could not fight herself, she could make a man a better warrior. The women of Occitania were accorded a great deal more respect than was common, and in this way did there exist an ideological, courtly, and chivalric kind of feminism.

That courtly love did at least improve women's collective egos in this period is probable. However, ladies were revered as passive goddesses, who were adored whether they wished to be or not. Women played no active role in the poetic courtship. Additionally, the ideas of courtly love had little effect on the lives of wives and maidens.

The essentially innocent practice of courtly love might furnish temptation. An orthodox rebuttal to the Occitanian troubadours can be found in Andrew the Chaplain's De Amore. The attitude of the church was fully explained and supported with solid arguments; in arguing for the traditional customs of the feudal world and Catholic church, Andrew's heart was fully in his work. The section entitled De reprobation amoris consists largely of a furious diatribe against women. "Love for a woman is a passion which comes from looking at and thinking too much about the body of the other sex". Geoffrey de la Tour Landry composed a book of advice for the instruction of his young daughters. He rejected without hesitation the precepts of courtly love. Accepting fully the feudal and ecclesiastical attitude toward adultery, he had nothing but condemnation for any woman who slipped from the path of strict virtue. He was careful to point out that a woman who lost her reputation for chastity would be scorned by all worthy people; however, a promiscuous male would be lauded. La Tour Landry bemoaned the fact that such excellent ancient customs as burying illicit lovers alive had fallen into disuse.

How fully the courtly love philosophy was developed in practice among the Cathars is virtually undocumented. "Though it is certain that the joyous love songs of the troubadours and the worship of the pure ones were often heard together, that one influenced the other to any degree can only be speculated". Only an educated guess can be made as to how much courtly love affected the life of the average Cathar woman.

Although it appears that feminism would be an exaggeration in describing the status that Cathar women enjoyed, the difference between their lives and the lives of their orthodox sisters is still significant. That Cathar women had the chance to become perfectae is difficult to credit fully from the modern viewpoint. In allowing women to join its most holy ranks, the Cathar church deviated wildly from orthodox Christianity; in attaining this status, the Cathar women discovered a success in their lives that has no modern parallel.

The body was by definition evil, woman's body was no more so. Yet only in rare cases was this theoretical equality actualized, the general Cathar acceptance of sexuality being such a case. Holy or courtly pleas to respect one's spouse or daughter were nodded at politely in public, but ignored in the home. The gentility of the Cathar faith could not overcome the ruthless patriarchal domination of the feudal system.

A Satanic Rule for Instant Messaging

I speak for the people who are fed up with creepy little monkeypeople who, for reasons unknown, believe themselves interesting enough for a conversation.

Chats among friends, colleagues, and loved ones are another matter. I mean the people who would waste our—yours and mine—most precious commodity, time. I mean the people so deeply unable to connect and relate to real human beings that they suppress all of their desires and urges and let them loose online where they are fruitless.

Chat leeches, heed my words, for your reign is over. I am a society of one, and I am not lonely.

If you are a stranger to me and you have not found me through an online group of common interest, you have no real reason to send an instant message.

Don’t assume that I subscribe to the idea of a friendly community of humans. I don’t. If you contact me, you have stepped into my lair uninvited. Prepare for the consequences.

You ask me “ASL”. I say “WTF?” or “BFD” or, perhaps most effectively, “No.”

If I am in stealth mode or I choose to be invisible, why do you not take the hint? How much more obvious can I make my volition? I promise there is no reason why you are the exception to the rule.

Take your antiquated notions of male-female relationships and kindly shove them as far up any bodily orifice you prefer. I am a liberated woman, it is true, but more importantly I am a human of power.

I haven’t given you the mating signal. I don’t want to look at you.

You ask me for my photograph. Who are you to look at me? What is your worth?

English is my native language. It is my preferred language of communication. I’m terribly sorry if your English is not so good, but then perhaps you should find someone who speaks your own language. I am not obligated to navigate the obstacle course of English with you. If you have trouble in English it is your problem, not mine.

Tread carefully through unfamiliar doorways, for you never know when the other side will be a nest of vipers.