I speak for the people who are fed up with creepy little monkeypeople who, for reasons unknown, believe themselves interesting enough for a conversation.
Chats among friends, colleagues, and loved ones are another matter. I mean the people who would waste our—yours and mine—most precious commodity, time. I mean the people so deeply unable to connect and relate to real human beings that they suppress all of their desires and urges and let them loose online where they are fruitless.
Chat leeches, heed my words, for your reign is over. I am a society of one, and I am not lonely.
If you are a stranger to me and you have not found me through an online group of common interest, you have no real reason to send an instant message.
Don’t assume that I subscribe to the idea of a friendly community of humans. I don’t. If you contact me, you have stepped into my lair uninvited. Prepare for the consequences.
You ask me “ASL”. I say “WTF?” or “BFD” or, perhaps most effectively, “No.”
If I am in stealth mode or I choose to be invisible, why do you not take the hint? How much more obvious can I make my volition? I promise there is no reason why you are the exception to the rule.
Take your antiquated notions of male-female relationships and kindly shove them as far up any bodily orifice you prefer. I am a liberated woman, it is true, but more importantly I am a human of power.
I haven’t given you the mating signal. I don’t want to look at you.
You ask me for my photograph. Who are you to look at me? What is your worth?
English is my native language. It is my preferred language of communication. I’m terribly sorry if your English is not so good, but then perhaps you should find someone who speaks your own language. I am not obligated to navigate the obstacle course of English with you. If you have trouble in English it is your problem, not mine.
Tread carefully through unfamiliar doorways, for you never know when the other side will be a nest of vipers.
Chats among friends, colleagues, and loved ones are another matter. I mean the people who would waste our—yours and mine—most precious commodity, time. I mean the people so deeply unable to connect and relate to real human beings that they suppress all of their desires and urges and let them loose online where they are fruitless.
Chat leeches, heed my words, for your reign is over. I am a society of one, and I am not lonely.
If you are a stranger to me and you have not found me through an online group of common interest, you have no real reason to send an instant message.
Don’t assume that I subscribe to the idea of a friendly community of humans. I don’t. If you contact me, you have stepped into my lair uninvited. Prepare for the consequences.
You ask me “ASL”. I say “WTF?” or “BFD” or, perhaps most effectively, “No.”
If I am in stealth mode or I choose to be invisible, why do you not take the hint? How much more obvious can I make my volition? I promise there is no reason why you are the exception to the rule.
Take your antiquated notions of male-female relationships and kindly shove them as far up any bodily orifice you prefer. I am a liberated woman, it is true, but more importantly I am a human of power.
I haven’t given you the mating signal. I don’t want to look at you.
You ask me for my photograph. Who are you to look at me? What is your worth?
English is my native language. It is my preferred language of communication. I’m terribly sorry if your English is not so good, but then perhaps you should find someone who speaks your own language. I am not obligated to navigate the obstacle course of English with you. If you have trouble in English it is your problem, not mine.
Tread carefully through unfamiliar doorways, for you never know when the other side will be a nest of vipers.
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