My September 11, 2001 Journal Entry

I remember the many times I would lay on one of the benches in the plaza of the World Trade Center. Tower 1 was completed in 1970, and Tower 2 in 1973--hence, the rising, dominating figures of the Manhattan skyline are roughly as old as I am. Since I was a little girl, the towers held a fascination for me. Every time I went to New York, I would go and gaze up in awe at the towers and marvel at humanity's ability to create.

Today I wept at humanity's ability to destroy.

Every time I climbed to the top of Tower 1, I loved to go to the panorama windows. I leaned forward as far as the guardrail would allow me, looking down, looking up, in flight over this magnificent city. Of course, standing on the ground up against the building and looking up its length was quite an experience as well.

There's so much more tied into this disaster, I know. But in the midst of it all, I have to collect my own thoughts and center on that part that, somehow, I could deal with and I could grasp. There was an esprit de vie about those towers, and it's hard to believe it's gone forever.

And I think of the people, of the 200+ firefighters and about 80 policemen who lost their lives. I think of the 70,000+ people who worked within the World Trade Center Complex. I think of the passengers of the commercial jets which were turned into bombs.

And I think, is this a one-time event, or is this only the beginning of something more?

My mother launched into a passionate rant against my estranged husband. "He didn't call you. He couldn't even call you. How the hell could he not call you? See how you are? You were just as likely as anybody to be there this morning. How can he care so little?"

Well, I understood her rant, but I wasn't upset by the cause of it. After all, on this day I was surrounded by the people who mean the most to me, and I to them. Who can ask for more?

In closing, I would like to offer a Brujeria prayer, one that we used in the neighborhood vigil we arranged this evening.

From the skies descended
In triumph and splendor
Guadelupe, favor your children with peace
White flowers, red roses
You appeared to us
Once and for always
Favor your children, oh Guadelupe
Oh favor us, you children, with peace

On that note, go in peace, and be well.